CV: Toriumi Kousuke (鳥海 浩輔)
Kagiha is a gentle and kind person. He always tries his best to keep the peace and mediates between anyone getting into a fight. He cares for everyone but it is also obvious that he is especially fond of the heroine. Much like the others, he says that he doesn’t remember anything apart from waking in the mansion but he also seems to have a deep connection with the heroine, feeling that she is familiar upon first sight. Random fact: he’s the tallest out of all the men.
(Due to some… special things in this route I’m going to post the route first before posting the happy-cute interlude one. YOU’LL SEE WHY.)
For the rest of the routes I’ll be doing this quick summary of the main events, and then include their character scenes between the main events. If you want more details about each chapter, then please read the first few Psychedelica posts up to and including the Real World.
*** PROLOGUE ***
Beniyuri wakes up in a strange mansion with no memories. She meets up with Hikage and they are both saved from the monsters by Monshiro. Kagiha appears and leads them to a refuge. But then they hear a scream and so Beniyuri runs out to save Karasuba and Yamato. The team gives themselves names from the plates on the door and also find out that they are all amnesiac and that the master of the mansion wants them to complete this item called the “kaleidoscope”. They can also manifest guns through the power of their thoughts to fight the monsters.
*** CHAPTER ONE ***
The team explores the mansion and finds the pieces of the kaleidoscope to complete it. They are then told by a messenger, called Usagi, that they need to collect fragments to complete the kaleidoscope. The fragments are held by monsters and so they need to exterminate them. As a reward for completing the kaleidoscope, everyone is also given back their childhood memories. Beniyuri has a small scene where she breaks down due to the stress of this terrifying environment but she’s comforted by Kagiha.
*** CHAPTER TWO ***
Everyone trains themselves to manifest and use their guns. Beniyuri is taught personally by Yamato, and is the last to pick this skill up. Anyway, they go on their monster hunting expedition with Beniyuri choosing who she wants to explore the mansion with:
Beniyuri chooses Kagiha. During this time, she thinks it’s best to move together with a kind person. She asks Kagiha if he’s fine with her coming along. He’s surprised and then asks her if she’s fine with someone like him. She reassures him that she is!… so long as he doesn’t mind her. He replies that of course he doesn’t mind her, so long as she’s okay with being with him. Both of them pause when they realize how their words sound and then they burst out laughing.
Kagiha notes that it looks like their feelings are the same. Beniyuri is amused at how they said the same things. Kagiha formally places himself in her care then as they work hard to find the fragments. She returns the courtesy. Exchanging a calm smile, they step out into the unknown territory.
Outside the room, there is nothing different from the time they explored and, while gripped by complicated emotions like disappointed and relief, they advance down the unending corridor. Kagiha suddenly admits that he was surprised at Beniyuri’s choice of him being her partner. She asks him why. He points out that the other members have physical strength and so she should feel secure with them. He thinks he looks like he’s lacking in power. He laughs weakly since it’s probably pathetic of him to admit this.
Beniyuri naturally has a smile when she sees his shoulders fall as he smiles sheepishly. She recalls that he had the same look on his face when he brought her hot chocolate. For some reason, when she’s with Kagiha, she has a gentle feeling. S C REAMS AND NOW WE KNOW. She tells him softly that he’s reliable. He thanks her and notes that she’s kind. She tells him firmly that it isn’t flattery and she’s speaking the truth.
Back when she was depressed, he gently encouraged her and helped her be optimistic. He let her know that she wasn’t alone. Not everyone can turn tears into a smile in this place, but she thinks he’s one of them. His eyes widen and, at the same time a blush appears on his face, she feels embarrassed at the words that came out unintentionally to the person in question. She’s just going on one-sidedly. Kagiha’s smile turns soft though as he remarks on how she trusts him, huh.
She nods and tells him that of course she does. He thanks her again for that and admits that it makes him really happy. He needs to work hard so as to not disappoint her then. With those words, he takes the lead and continues down the hall. Fortunately, or unfortunately, they don’t encounter any monsters and time passes. They didn’t make any progress today, huh. Just as she thought that though–
A voice calls out and asks what they’re looking for? Both Kagiha and Beniyuri whirl around to see a young masked girl on the path they just passed. When did she get here!? Kagiha places a hand on Beniyuri’s shoulder and then steps out in front of her, looking at the masked girl as he replies. He answers that they’re looking for monsters and has she seen any? The girl answers that they’re on the second floor and she ran away from there because it was scary.
Kagiha turns around and exchanges a shocked look with Beniyuri. The second floor… Kagiha notes that no one has been there yet, so they don’t know what’s there. Beniyuri has no idea either. She feels a bit hesitant but searching for monsters is why they came out of the refuge and so they need to go. Kagiha turns a smile onto the young girl and asks if she can direct them to the monster and tell them more details.
But the girl is no longer there. She disappeared?! Kagiha notes that she doesn’t seem to be hiding… but where and how did she disappear in such a short time? They look around them but there is no space anywhere to hide. Finally, Kagiha says that it may be dangerous but they should check the second floor. Beniyuri nods in agreement and, while still being curious about the young girl, they return to the entrance and ascend to the second floor.
On the second floor, they were greeted by an unthinkable spectacle. There are countless masks. They are made out of silver, gold, and other metals and carved with different expressions, but none of them have any life. Her eyes are stuck on this sight. Kagiha wonders if this is the master of the mansion’s collection. It’s a masterpiece. Beniyuri nods slowly but adds that it also feels creepy. They continue to walk forward while she feels a fear different from how she feels about the monsters.
This hall is the same as the first floor with no end in sight and the same sights just endlessly repeat. Beniyuri thinks on how if the young girl’s words are true then a monster is here somewhere on this floor. She needs to be careful because she doesn’t know when she might be attacked. Her hand starts to tremble from her nervousness. She grasps her own hands to stop it desperately but her body won’t obey.
What happens if she’s unable to manifest her gun when something happens? Should she bring it out right now? But it’ll disappear immediately and there’s no point in that. Her thoughts spin wildly. Her eyes widen when Kagiha’s large hand takes hers though. He tells her that it’ll be okay. She’s not alone because he’s here, so she doesn’t need to store away her uneasiness. His voice softens as he reassures her again that it’ll be okay.
Like a sign, the hand holding hers squeezes firmly. And then she feels the gentle warmth coming from his palm. It calms the whirlpool in her heart. It’s really strange… how he seems to know the way to calm her down. I T ‘S NOT STRANGE AT ALL. THE BGM IS THE LOVE BGM. CRIES. But this hand… somewhere… Beniyuri winces and, in the moment where a thread of her memory seems to be connected to something important, a sharp pain burns through her mind.
Kagiha is startled and asks her worriedly what happened. She shakes her head and tells him that it was nothing. He had dropped her hand quickly and created some distance between them. He asks if she was surprised because he suddenly touched her hand? If so, he apologizes. She gapes at him before hurriedly reassuring him that it wasn’t that and she’s the one who should apologize when he was looking out for her.
Beniyuri explains that she seemed to remember something but then her head hurt. His eyes widen and he asks if her memory returned. Did she remember something? She doesn’t know because it was only for a moment. Kagiha drops his eyes to the palm of his hand. OH. MY. GOD. Beniyuri wonders what that was just now. But then Kagiha suddenly yells out in warning to her about the butterflies.
In front of her, there is the ominous sound of flapping before black butterflies start to appear. Accompanying them is a fuming black shadow that notices them at the same time that they notice it and starts to move towards them. Kagiha narrows his eyes as he realizes that they’ve finally encountered it. Can she do it? Beniyuri nods and they both manifest their weapons to confront the monster. DON’T WORRY KAGIHA. I’M A PRO NOW.
Beniyuri collapses after the fight, breathing hard, and Kagiha asks her worriedly if she’s okay. She reassures him breathlessly that she’s just tired and she should be okay after a break. She looks to see the monster turn into a swarm of black butterflies that crumble. She wonders if the their guns use their physical stamina, which is why her body is heavy. But Kagiha looks fine. Kagiha suddenly asks if the thing in front of her is a fragment.
She confirms that it looks the same as the one she picked up previously and it’s a pretty glass fragment. It’s best if they bring it back carefully and without wounding themselves. Kagiha agrees and thinks it’d be nice if they had something to wrap it with. Beniyuri tells him that she has the thing for that then and unties the ribbon on her clothes before wrapping the strangely colored fragment up.
This is the key to releasing them from this place, huh. Such a small thing holds their fate. Kagiha comments on how she must be tired from fighting, since she’s not used to it, and they should return. Everyone else has probably returned too. Beniyuri agrees and also thinks that she’ll sleep well today. Kagiha extends his hand to her to help her get up and asks her to grab on.
Beniyuri stares at the open palm in front of her. Before, when she touched this hand she remembered something, didn’t she? If she touches it again will anything happen? Pocketing the fragment, she places her hand on his with anticipation in her chest. Kagiha notices her strange action and asks if anything is wrong? She shakes her head. In the end, nothing happened and she’s a bit disappointed. It must have been a coincidence… He pulls her up with his strength and then smiles, eyes crinkling gently.
After everyone returns to the refuge with the fragments they collected they are given another reward by the master of the mansion in the form of Usagi delivering food to them. Everyone has dinner around a table and Beniyuri feels that everyone is getting closer together. She also manages to see Usagi’s face.
*** CHAPTER THREE ***
Yamato has been irritable lately and so Beniyuri visits him with hot chocolate. They have a talk about their families and lives before Yamato reveals that he has a younger twin brother who has been in a coma for ten years. Yamato is impatient to get out of this mansion because he’s the only one who’s been talking constantly to his brother, and the doctors say that this gives his brother the best chance to wake up.
Beniyuri comforts Yamato but runs out of his room when he tries to touch her, for some reason. In her room, the master of the mansion suddenly asks if she wants to know more about Yamato or not:
- She is scared to know
- She wants to know more about Yamato
But Beniyuri is scared to know. Besides, this message wasn’t sent to Yamato, right? She doesn’t like the thought of learning something about someone without asking said person personally. She startles when her phone beeps again with another message notification. She opens it to see a picture of two children, one who looks like Hikage and one who looks like Yamato. Could it be that they’re twins?!
Just then everyone is woken up by Yamato screaming and rushes out of the refuge to see him transform into a monster in their face. Yamato runs off before they can do anything. After this event, Usagi visits them and reveals to them that this world is the interval between life and death. Meaning, everyone here is almost dead and the only way for them to return to life is to complete kaleidoscope, since it’ll grant the user a wish. And then Beniyuri reveals to everyone the photo of the twins that the master of the mansion sent to her. Hikage realizes that he’s Yamato’s little brother and staggers off to be alone in his room. Everyone is shocked and a bit broken from the sudden loss of one of their members.
In her room at night, Beniyuri thinks on the events that have happened:
- She wants to talk to someone
- Can they return Yamato to normal?
- She wants to solve the mysteries of this mansion
- It’d be nice if everything was a dream
- (Why did they arrive here?)
She wants to talk to someone. Talking won’t solve anything but her mind won’t calm down while she’s alone. But everyone is already sleeping, right? She wonders what they’re thinking. Just as she’s wishing for someone, a knock sounds against the door behind her back. She asks who it is but has a suspicion from the knocking pattern.
Kagiha introduces himself and then asks if she has some time. She blinks in surprise and opens the door to see him standing there just as she imagined with a calm smile. Upon seeing his kind eyes, her tension softens for a moment. She asks him if something is wrong since it’s already late. She thought he’d be sleeping already. He looks as composed as always but then his eyes furrow and he looks troubled.
He tells her that he planned to do that but there’s something he is concerned about. She echoes his words before asking him if he’s worried about Yamato? He shakes his head and confesses that he’s concerned about her. He lowers himself a little so he can look her straight in the eyes. He wondered if she was crying by herself after learning everything that they did today and he wasn’t able to remain still and so he came here.
Beniyuri agrees that it’s something that doesn’t seem real and so she doesn’t have a grasp on it. She reassures him that she’s not such a crybaby though and she’ll be okay without his worry. He asks her if this is true. She nods and repeats again that she’s fine. He stares at her with clear eyes and it makes her heart tremble though as if he were seeing through to her hesitation and weakness. But then he smiles widely and admits that he was mistaken then, or maybe he was being conceited.
She looks at him in confusion and so he confesses that he wanted to console her if she was crying, but he realizes that she can be calm even without him and there are times where she’d rather be alone. He apologizes for projecting that kind of intimacy between them and coming into her room like this. He’ll return to his own room now.
But as he gets up she realizes that his kind presence is disappearing and, without realizing it, she grabs onto his sleeve. Kagiha pauses and looks back to call her name questioningly. She blurts out an apology and grabs her offending hand with her other hand, as if chastising it. In her mind she doesn’t want him to think that he’s projecting an intimacy between them and she’s happy whenever someone is concerned about her. She feels like she can relax around him but she doesn’t want to worry him either…
Beniyuri mumbles out that she’d like to be together with him. She had been thinking about wanting someone to talk to… but this is only if he doesn’t mind! Listening to her words, Kagiha’s eyes widened before narrowing as he smiles and nods.
There is quiet in the room. He’s taken one of the chairs and is facing her across the room as she sits on the bed, but the silence continues as she’s unable to find a topic of conversation. Beniyuri realizes that she unintentionally detained him and yet there’s nothing for them to talk about either. A topic won’t come to mind. She also hopes that things don’t become awkward. She sneaks a glance at him but he catches her looking and the look on his face softens. Just from that, she feels her entire body relax and settle.
What is this feeling? She murmurs that it’s strange. Kagiha tilts his head and asks her what is. She elaborates and says that she finds him to be a strange person. Normally, the atmosphere becomes strained when no one talks but because it’s Kagiha she can feel at ease. He chuckles and says that he’s happy to hear that. But he’s the same and when he’s with her he feels at ease or… he shakes his head, he lied.
She questions him about that. He explains that, more than feeling at ease, he feels encouraged. It might not be the right time to feel this but he’s happy to be needed by her. In her mind, she thinks on how this really is strange since normally she would feel wary upon hearing this from someone she just met; it would sound like they had ulterior motives but since it’s coming from him she can accept it without resistance. I’M SO GLAD I DIDN’T DO THIS FIRST BECAUSE OH GOD LOOK AT ALL THESE FORESHADOWING LINES.
Suddenly, Beniyuri recalls how the first time they met Kagiha mentioned that it felt like they’ve met somewhere before. He tells her that he still feels this even now. She replies that she understands that a bit now, because it wouldn’t be strange for long acquaintances to be calm when together. She wonders if something connects the two of them like how Yamato and Hikage are connected. INSERT UGLY LAUGHTER HERE.
Kagiha doesn’t know but that might be the case. Beniyuri thinks that it’d be nice. As she speaks, a memory from the corner of her mind comes forward. Yamato becoming lost into a monster’s shape. He was the most enthusiastic of them all in collecting the fragments since he wanted to return to the place they belonged as fast as possible. She had worried about him straining himself and was worried about what may happen in the future only for her fears to become realized into that shape.
Pain strikes her heart sharply. It’s a twisted pain as if an unseen blade is carving an old wound. Even though she thought about how she doesn’t want to lose another person anymore… then this happens again. Beniyuri pauses and then her brows furrow at her thoughts. “Another person”? “Again”? This is the first time that they’ve lost a companion so what is this feeling? It feels like something she’s experienced before in the past.
An unknown little girl’s voice yells out at someone not to go! Beniyuri cringes. Kagiha startles and asks her worriedly if something is the matter. She gasps out that her head… again… Kagiha realizes that she must have remembered something again? She seems confused upon hearing his words though. Memory? Ah yes, that may have been a memory. In her mind, she hears that young girl crying and asking where everyone went. She doesn’t want to be left alone! They won’t see each other again?
Kagiha calls out worriedly again. Beniyuri returns back to the present after a few seconds and realizes that he’s right beside her. She’s afraid of losing things. The fear that she’s felt before in her chest has suddenly become more real. More than her feelings towards her companions, this sensation is darker and mixed deeply within her. Beniyuri manages to get out through gritted teeth that she may have lost someone precious to her before and when she thinks on that… her head and heart hurts.
She screams out but is suddenly grabbed by Kagiha. She finds her face buried deeply against his warm chest. He asks her to calm down and repeats that everything will be okay. These words gently repeat over and over again. His hands, placed on her back and head, rub soothingly.
He tells her not to push herself and if she doesn’t want to remember something then she doesn’t need to remember anything. Even if she doesn’t have any memories, the fact that she is still herself won’t change. It’s not guaranteed that their returning memories will only be happy ones. If she’s in pain then there’s no need for her to remember. HE SOUNDS LIKE THE ONE WHO IS IN PAIN NOW OUCH.
Beniyuri murmurs his name confusedly because she’s a bit surprised at the sadness in his tone. In her mind she suddenly realizes that she doesn’t know what picture the master of the mansion sent to Kagiha. At that time, no one showed their phone to anyone else. Maybe Kagiha remembered something that he wanted to forget? She feels at ease from the sensation of being pet and so she closes her eyes. Pressing her ear to his chest and remaining still, she can hear the beat of his heart. Thump thump.
His heartbeat makes her feel like the things she heard about them being on the verge of death are other people’s worries. Suddenly, Kagiha realizes the position they’re in and stands up while turning red. He apologizes to her in a flustered voice for doing that sort of thing without any notice. Beniyuri is startled but quickly shakes her head and tells him that thanks to his actions even her headache is cured and she should be thanking him.
She thanks him seriously for always being there when she’s in pain. The red disappears from his face as he tells her that she doesn’t need to mind that. He’s doing it because he likes to and he wants to become her strength. Her heart starts to pound upon hearing the tenderness in his voice directed towards her. But why does this pounding in her heart seem nostalgic? It feels like something her body remembers…
Kagiha decides that he’ll return to his room now. It won’t be good for them to talk too long and not be wide awake tomorrow. He wishes her a good night and she returns his words. After seeing him off and closing the door, she wraps both her arms around her body. His warmth still remains on her body. His gentle warmth on her shoulders, back, and hair. If she and Kagiha used to know each other before they lost their memories… what kind of relationship did they have? Classmates? Best friends? Or… Even if she feels a special connection, in the end, she can’t remember anything.
*** CHAPTER FOUR ***
Everyone is depressed by Yamato’s disappearance but realize that they have no choice but to continue on hunting for the fragments to complete the kaleidoscope. They have collected quite a few fragments but Beniyuri only continues to feel uneasy. She partners up with Kagiha this time and they defeat a monster, which leaves her breathless and exhausted. She also has the feeling that someone is watching them.
At night, she is led outside by white butterflies and to Monshiro who leads her to the hidden greenhouse where Yamato has been hiding. She manages to turn him partially back to normal but he refuses to return to the refuge. She promises to visit him and keep this a secret from others and is led back to the refuge by Monshiro, where she wonders:
- What kind of connection does he have with Yamato?
- It’s best if she didn’t pry too much
Beniyuri wonders what kind of connection he has with Yamato. He went out of his way to introduce her and Yamato, and so he might have an expectation.
She visits Yamato every night with Monshiro and then, one day, Monshiro gives her the ribbon that he always has and tells her that it’s a protective charm. He also wants to be one of her companions and ends up popping into the room. Everyone is suspicious but Karasuba lies to help Beniyuri and so Monshiro joins the group. He ends up cuddling with her at night and whispers that he can’t stay with her forever, even though he wants to.
Yamato tells Beniyuri about a study and so she visits it with Hikage during one of their exploration and monster-hunting expeditions only to find a strange book.
- Takes it in hand.
- Averts her eyes.
Unintentionally, Beniyuri averts her eyes away from it. She has the feeling that this is something she shouldn’t be seeing.
In the end, she finds a photo before she and Hikage are attacked by a monster. They retreat back to the refuge and show the photo to everyone which unlocks their memories about being childhood friends, except for Monshiro. Hikage is very suspicious about this and since Monshiro is the odd man out, no one is able to defend him even though Beniyuri tries her best. In the end, Monshiro separates from everyone to hide in his room since he doesn’t want them to fight.
At night, Beniyuri realizes that everyone seems to be hiding a painful memory from her and she’s the only one who can’t remember it.
- (It’s okay even if she doesn’t remember it.)
- (She wants to remember it by any means possible.)
Beniyuri wants to remember that memory by any means possible. Everyone had always been together when they were young. They were companions who went through happiness and sadness together, so she doesn’t want to be the only one who doesn’t remember this. But what can she do? No matter how she lifts the lid on her memories, she can’t seem to remember it. She tries countless of times and finds that she’s not sleepy at all. And so she gets up.
Since she doesn’t feel sleepy while lying down, she decides to stay awake for a while longer. She descends into the living room and her eyes fall onto the kaleidoscope, which has been left on top of the table. It’s as pretty as usual. It glimmers faintly as if washed in some kind of light. It doesn’t appear in the air but she can somehow feel it glowing. They’ve collected a lot of fragments but will they really be able to return to reality after completing it? Will her memories return completely as well? Will the kaleidoscope really grant her wish?
She directs this question hidden in her heart towards the kaleidoscope. But it only continues to emit light without a response to her thoughts. Suddenly, Kagiha calls out to her and she spins around to greet him with his real name before correcting herself to call him by their temporary names. He asks her what she’s doing at this time of night by staring at the kaleidoscope by her lonesome. She doesn’t answer and he descends from the stairs to come to her side.
Beniyuri finally tells him that she was worrying over whether this thing can really return them to the real world once it’s completed. He says with certainty that it will. She nods and realizes out loud that they’ve believed in that and worked hard for that up to this point after all. He nods with a quiet smile on his face. It was a smile that dissolved her uneasiness and bathed her in warmth.
She stares at him absently until he notices her look and asks her if something is the matter. She shakes her head quickly and says it’s nothing. In her mind she wonders if she’s become self-conscious because memories of their time as children have returned to her. She was close with Kagiha in particular and now she feels a bit shy. She tries to suppress the heat in her cheeks and averts her gaze to the kaleidoscope.
And then she thinks out loud about how they lost their memories when they arrived here, so will the opposite happen? He echoes her last word in confusion. Opposite? She reveals that she’s wondering whether or not they’ll lose their memories of what happened here when they return to reality. She thinks that’s a bit sad. He admits that a lot of things have happened in this world and wanting to remember it is a bit…
Beniyuri agrees that a lot of terrifying things have happened but they were able to overcome it together with everyone. Kagiha adopts a serious expression as he tells her that, even if it meant that he had to throw away all the time he spent here as Kagiha, he would want to return to life. STARES VERY HARD AT HIM. She looks at him in surprise. He continues on to say that he wants to return to life and walk together with her under the sun. Like when they were children, he wants to study with her, play together, and spent time with her. It was a lot of fun, huh.
She thinks it’ll be just as fun too and confesses that even now she’s having a lot of fun talking with him. He laughs softly and thanks her. They should be overflowing with dreams of the future so why did it seem like the smile on his face right now was a delicate as glass, and like one touch would shatter it in an instant. And then she realizes something odd about his words. Beniyuri quotes him about his comment on how “like when they were children”.
Kagiha tilts his head. She reminds him that he said he wanted to spend time together like they did when they were children. Does that mean they haven’t seen each other recently? OH NO. He doesn’t say anything. She recalls that they lived nearby when they were young. Do they attend different schools now? She asks him if he remembers everything. They look at each other and she can see a shadow of sadness in his calm eyes.
He looks away as he confirms with her that she hasn’t regained all her memories yet, has she? She nods. He decides that it’d be better if he didn’t say anything then, and he thinks it’s best for her memories to return naturally. She asks him why he’s hiding it. Something happened at the camp they attended together as children, right? He stiffens. She realizes that she’s right and she noticed that everyone seemed strange when they were talking about it.
Kagiha doesn’t confirm or deny anything. But that in itself is an answer. Beniyuri thinks on how Kagiha is always gently protecting her. But right now that distance is painful. Everyone, including Kagiha, won’t meet her eyes. Why doesn’t she remember it…? Why is it only her? Her eyes start to feel hot and tears well up. No…! Why is she crying!? She turns her back on him so that her tears won’t be seen.
But then she remembers this happening before. On the first night that her memories returned… Kagiha had brought hot chocolate to her who had been crying. At that time, Kagiha had said that she’s cute when she’s honest… everything about her; when she’s crying, and when she’s smiling. It was like he remembered her. She asks that out loud. Did he know her at that time? He smiles awkwardly and admits that he had a sense; all he knew was that she was an important woman to him.
And then he asks if she remembers the promise they made when they were children? She repeats his words faintly. He looks away and asks if she doesn’t remember that either. But she realizes that he’s asking about the promise to marry? He’s relieved and happy that she remembered that. She nods and replies that it was an important promise after all. She lowers her eyes and draws up that memory.
Natsuki and her exchanged a promise to marry when they were young. At a time when they were playing in the park, he made her a white clover ring and proposed. She loved the gentle Natsuki and accepted without hesitation. To adults around them, it was probably a young and clumsy promise. But they were serious as children. She saw herself standing in a wedding dress beside Natsuki in her dreams.
Kagiha asks if the promise they made is still valid. She blinks in confusion. He smiles and asks her if she’ll become his bride when they return to reality. Beniyuri gapes at him. Bride?! She becomes flustered because his words are sudden but… she’s happy.
A warmth spreads throughout her chest and she nods unknowingly but she realizes that something, like a small glass shard, seems to be stuck in her heart. What kind of relationship did she have with him as an adult? Does she have anyone else who might be called a lover in reality? How did she live before coming here? Immediately after she nods, she is struck by hesitation. Kagiha suddenly laughs and apologizes for his mean question.
Beniyuri shakes her head and apologizes for not having anything to say right now. He nods easily and tells her that he just wanted her to know… the fact that he still treasures that promise. She stiffens and tries to ask him if that means– but he interrupts and says quietly that it’d be nice if it was fulfilled one day. Her words are lost when she sees his clear expression, without any indecision. Her heart quickens and her face becomes hot.
Close to ten years have passed and he still has the same feelings. She… did she have the same? She wants to regain her memories. Even though she still feels that dark uneasiness from before, for Kagiha’s sake she needs to…
Suddenly, Hikage appears and asks what the two of them are doing at this time. Beniyuri calls out to him in surprise and asks if something happened for him to be awake at this time. He tells her that those are his words and he felt the presence of people, which is why he came to check it out. He grumbles about how if they’re going to flirt then they can do it away from people’s eyes, because it’s troublesome if it’s being done in the shared living room. WHY YOU LYING. WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING.
Beniyuri tells him quickly that he’s mistaken. It’s not like she was… right, Kagiha? But he just tilts his head and asks if Hikage is wrong. She gapes at him and then mumbles that if he says that then she doesn’t know what to do… L O L. She knows he’s asking that question without any bad intentions but she quickly searches for words to change the topic while being flustered. Ah, she knows! She asks Hikage what he’ll do when they return to the real world. Is there anything he wants to do? UHHH…
Hikage shrugs and says he can’t think of anything. More importantly, the kaleidoscope isn’t complete yet. He thinks her words are too early. She pouts at how he has no dreams and he could have went along with her for a bit. Hikage sighs upon seeing her pout. Fine, in that case… He wants to do something fun; something cheerful and bright. She repeats his words in surprise. But then he shakes his head and corrects himself because he’s looking forward to the completion of the kaleidoscope; ever since he came here, that’s been the only thing he can think about.
And then he points out that this is the same for Kagiha, right? OHHHHH MY GOOOOOD. THE MUSIC IS LIGHTHEARTED HERE BUT I’M JUST SQUINTING MY EYES. Beniyuri nods and agrees that thinking about what they’ll do when they return home is fun but it’s always enjoyable to look forward to collecting all the fragments. Kagiha thinks they’ll be able to do it soon and, in particular, they’ve done all the things that they couldn’t not do. Beniyuri agrees that they’ve been steadily finishing it piece by piece. TWO DIFFERENT CONVOS ARE HAPPENING HERE. Once more she looks at the glittering kaleidoscope atop the table. Her heart leaps in excitement upon staring at it, as if it were a symbol of a bright future.
*** CHAPTER FIVE ***
Usagi tells them that they have almost completed the kaleidoscope; they only need one or two more fragments. Everyone is happy except for Karasuba. He ends up disappearing the next day and everyone goes through the mansion to search for him. Beniyuri even secretly enlists the help of Yamato. She and Hikage find Karasuba injured in a room. They head back to the refuge only to see Monshiro pointing a gun at Kagiha.
Beniyuri starts to lose her patience at how everyone is keeping a secret from her. Karasuba ends up shooting Monshiro’s mask and breaks it to reveal that he has the same face as Hikage. Hikage reveals that he’s the master of the mansion. Monshiro was Kazuya, Yamato’s twin brother all along.
Hikage tries to kill Beniyuri for the last shard but Kagiha takes the shot for her. Hikage attempts to kill her again but is wounded by Yamato, who suddenly appears. Hikage retreats and uses Kagiha as a shield. Beniyuri has memories of the time everyone went to the summer camp and started to explore a mansion on a lake.
*** CHAPTER SIX ***
Yamato takes their diminished group, consisting of Beniyuri, Karasuba, himself, and Monshiro, to the greenhouse in an attempt to find somewhere to hide from Hikage and heal. They rest there until Karasuba’s wound heals. Beniyuri starts to feel isolated and hurt at how everyone is still keeping a secret from her. But then they’re approached by Usagi who reveals that Beniyuri has the last fragment and the master of the mansion wants her to come to him.
Everyone makes a plan to deal with Hikage, but this only makes Beniyuri feel more isolated since her plans are shut down and she’s not very involved apart from having the role to talk to him. In the end, she’s the one who decides when they should go though and she:
- Wants to look around
- Wants to go immediately
Beniyuri wants to head over to Hikage immediately.
*** CHAPTER SEVEN ***
Her memories still haven’t returned and Beniyuri is feeling completely isolated from her companions. She’s also depressed because it feels like everything is falling apart. She wants to cry and recalls how Kagiha encouraged her to be honest with her feelings and cry whenever she needed to so that she’d be able to smile. But then she also recalls how he’s gone now after having taken a serious injury for her and, because of how much she’s been enduring, she feels like she’s lost the ability to cry.
She tries to sleep to prepare for tomorrow but sleep doesn’t come and in the darkness her five senses sharpen. She can feel the sensation of the lawn and the cold and chilly night air; the surrounding fresh scent of flowers. But amongst all these sensations there is one that sticks out and catches her attention. It is:
- (The sound of rain.)
- (A faint light.)
*** KAGIHA END ***
Beniyuri wonders why the sound of rain is reaching her ears tonight. This disorderly rain is constant. It’s something she should have been used to hearing but… it pours. White noise. All these sounds layer on top of one another and is unpleasant. Even when she covers her ears the sound of rain echoes frighteningly in her mind. She hates it. It gives her a strange feeling like a headache…
Tomorrow is an important day where they’ll be meeting Hikage, and so she needs to sleep. Hikage… she recalls his image; the Hikage that she met at the very beginning. He was always at the center of them, drawing together their scattered selves, and they trusted him. Why did she do that? Even though she didn’t know his past or name. Where was this trust born from? What did she trust?
Beniyuri freezes, feeling like she heard something, and opens her eyes. Was it her imagination? She felt like someone laughed beside her ears. Maybe it was the sound of rain or, if not, maybe it was the sound of leaves rubbing. She goes to close her eyes again but– her eyes snap open when she hears the sound of a female laughing clearly this time. She gets up quickly and wonders what is going on.
A feminine voice muses out loud on how she didn’t think she’d be betrayed by Hikage. It’s cruel, isn’t it? To have believed in a companion and have everything be a lie. Beniyuri spins around and asks who it is. The woman only laughs and says that she’s a really pitiful girl. Beniyuri looks around again but there is no one here. And yet, she can hear the voice clearly beside her. BY THE WAY THE VOICE SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE BENIYURI.
The voice continues on to ask if she still believes in her companions. She was deceived by Hikage. And not just lied to, but used and almost killed. But does she still believe in the concept of companions? Doesn’t she doubt those three people even a little? Beniyuri denies it and claims that she still believes. The voice asks if that is true when everyone is hiding something from her. Beniyuri weakly replies that it’s for her sake…
But the voice continues on to point out that they might just be setting a trap with that. She can’t trust anyone. Beniyuri asks the voice to stop; why is it saying this? But it only giggles and then whispers that she can’t believe anyone. Beniyuri covers her ears and shakes her head but the voice, like the rain, clings stubbornly to her and refuses to let go. It asks her what she believes in: companions? Hope? Truth? Does she really wish for that? Doesn’t she actually think about how she doesn’t want companions who hurt her?
Beniyuri’s breathing becomes rough before she vehemently denies that. She believes in everyone! They’ve come this far because they’ve cooperated! But the voice mocks her words and points out that the others don’t think that way. If they were truly her companions then they wouldn’t hide anything. She’s alone. Being alone suits her. Because that’s what she wishes. Beniyuri yells at the voice to stop.
She gets up and staggers away. She has no destination and tries to wholeheartedly run away from that terrifying voice and put the greenhouse behind her. But the voice follows and laughs while asking her where she’s going. Who is she going to? There’s no one for her to rely on! Beniyuri yells at the voice not to follow her, but it simply giggles. No matter where she goes the voice doesn’t disappear. It only sounds more and more pleased and continues to whisper behind her back, as if separating her from everyone.
The voice tells her that she can’t believe in anyone. And then she won’t have any sad feelings. It’d be nice not to have to doubt anyone. The voice tells her that she will grant her own wish. Beniyuri echoes her words weakly. Wish? The voice tells her that she can see it, can’t she? The thing she wishes for is–
Beniyuri shrieks out in denial and crouches down, covering both her ears. The voice has made feelings that she didn’t want to be aware of boil and it feels like she’s being taken somewhere far away. Beniyuri doesn’t want this. She doesn’t want to be alone! She wants to believe in someone… and yet… why… does she have the exact opposite feeling? Even though it’s her own, she can’t seem to control her heart.
Suddenly, she feels someone in front of her. Ah, at last she’s… exhausted, the edges of her mouth curve faintly. She’s not just hearing voices but now she’s having hallucinations. A familiar voice asks her if she’s alright. She looks up in surprise. Kagiha asks her what she’s doing alone in a place like this. Is she okay? Her eyes widen upon seeing this unexpected person. His brows are slightly furrowed and he has a troubled smile on his face.
Beniyuri asks him haltingly why he’s here. Is this also an illusion? Did she wish him into existence? He doesn’t answer though and only remains crouching, with a hand extended to her. He says, with concern, that her skirt will get dirty if she sits here. He asks if she can stand and then tells her to grab onto him if she doesn’t have any strength in her legs. At her lack of response though he furrows his brows again and calls out to her worriedly. She doesn’t take his hand and so he places it on her shoulder.
But she immediately retreats and shouts out a refusal. Her back hits the wall. She’s shocked at her own vehement refusal. His eyes widen as he asks her what the matter is and what she’s afraid of? She confesses that she’s scared to find out that he’s an illusion. He blinks in confusion. She asks him weakly if he’s really here. He pauses and his hand, which is still outstretched, clenches. But then he smiles faintly, crinkling his eyes, and asks her to let him stay by her side for a little while.
Her eyes are wide as he neither says anything further nor asks anything and simply lowers himself to sit beside her. In the dim hallway, the two of them have their shoulders lined up. The ancient lanterns on the pillars cast a shaking golden light and both their forms are dimly silhouetted. In the dark, everything that she can see is only an outline and it feels like she’s in a dream. In a… dream?
Kagiha suddenly chuckles and says that he’s glad. She makes a confused noise. He explains that she didn’t reject him this time. If she didn’t allow him to be by her side then he’s not sure if he would have been able to bear that… his lowered eyelids tremble faintly. And while looking at that she thinks, in the corner of her mind, that this is the first time she’s seen the edges of someone’s eyelashes other than her own. If this is a dream then she’s surprised at how many details of his face she can recall.
She asks him quietly why he’s so kind to her, to that point? Why is he by her side? She– The voice returns and tells her amusedly that he must have an objective, right? Beniyuri stiffens. The voice muses on how surely they’re going to be betrayed again. IT’S LIKE THE SUBCONSCIOUS VOICE FROM HELL LOL. Once again the voice sounds and its worst easily slip into her ear and, like an evil curse, it stirs up her insides.
Beniyuri suddenly sobs out at it not to come closer and not to approach her. She doesn’t want to hear anything. She doesn’t want… anything! Kagiha startles and tells her to calm down before whispering reassurances. He places a hand on her curved back and, as he rubs up and down, he peers at her face. He’s beside her and, no matter what happens, he’ll be by her side.
He tells her 「君を傷つけない。ううん、むしろ守るよ。誰からもなにからも、君を守ってみせる。君が望むなら、僕の全てをあげる。君の望みは、僕の望みなんだ。」(I won’t hurt you. No, more like I’ll protect you. From anyone and anything, I’ll protect you. I would give everything of myself to you, if you wish it. Your wishes are my wishes). Beniyuri sobs out in confusion that her wish is…
Kagiha reminds her that they made a “promise”, right? She repeats his words brokenly. He says that she should have remembered it by now. They had a dream together; a very happy future. He prompts her gently and asks if she can think of a wish now? I’M SO WORRIED. HOW IS THIS ENDING GOING TO WORK. HE’S DEAD. YOU’RE DEAD. A promise. She only has one memory about that. A warm feeling that is remembered by the both of them and that is–
Flashback! Natsuki is relieved and decides to say it again that, when they become bigger, he would like her to marry him. Ai answers that she will. He’s glad and admits that he wouldn’t know what to do if she refused. Ai tells him strongly that she wouldn’t do that and she’ll treasure this ring! Even if it wilts, she’ll put it in her treasure box. And so she doesn’t want him to forget about this promise. He promises her that he won’t, of course, and asks that she remember it too. Ai nods eagerly and promises him that she’ll never forget it! Natsuki asks her if she’ll wait until he becomes bigger and comes to get her with a real ring.
Back in the present! Beniyuri realizes that this is the world that she desires. The voice weakly repeats that she doesn’t want to hurt anyone… and she doesn’t want to be hurt by anyone. Beniyuri continues on to say that she wishes for a bright and happy world where she’s together with the person she loves. The voice adds on by saying that it’ll be a never-ending world, like a dream.
Yes. From the very beginning, she’s had this dream. A happy future.
Natsuki curses when he notices the time. They spent too much time in the morning. Ai realizes that he’s right and apologizes for not noticing. Natsuki quickly shakes his head and says that it was because of his carelessness and he’ll just catch the next train. It’s fine. Moreover…
Ai stutters and asks him what he’s doing. If he stares at her like that then she’ll feel embarrassed. He answers that he still has a hard time accepting the fact that she’s his wife. Ai rolls her eyes affectionately and points out that he says the same thing every day despite having been married three months ago. He chuckles and asks if that’s true, but then he recalls that they did do something similar yesterday too. Happiness is something that he can’t have enough of. Ai agrees and says she never will.
At any rate, Natsuki notes that he’s reluctant to leave her but he needs to head to the company now. She sends him off and tells him that dinner will be his favorite, stew with a lot of vegetables. He thanks her and says that he’s looking forward to it. And then he steals her lips with a surprise attack before heading off to his company.
Today is the same unchanging and calm morning. Natsuki and her have been married for three months and are living together. The childhood promise that they’ve waited for has been fulfilled and now every day is happiness, like a painting. Ai notes that the dishes have been washed, next is to clean the house. After that, she needs to dry the laundry and then…
In Natsuki’s absence, the housework awaits. She cleans the cutlery and dishes that he used, irons his shirts, and replaces the bedsheets on the bed that they both sleep on. The every day life that she spends with him fills her with such sweetness that it almost tickles. In the house, they always spend their time together.
For dinner, even if Natsuki is late from overtime, they eat together. Natsuki comments on how lately Ai’s cooking has gotten better. She asks if that’s true and then asks what his favorite was out of today’s menu. Natsuki hums before telling her that the squid ink risotto had a nice balance of sweetness and bitterness. She pauses before telling him quietly that it was a cream risotto. He pauses as well… Cream? OH. MY GOD.
A harmonious time after the meal wasn’t missed. Natsuki desperately asks Ai to cheer up. She doesn’t respond. He apologizes as he knows that he shouldn’t have missed and mistook cream for squid ink. She suddenly bursts out laughing, to his confusion, before she apologizes and explains that she wasn’t angry. But he was so serious that she wanted to tease him. Moreover, it just makes her want to try harder.
Natsuki is quiet before he asks her slowly if her sulking was just an act? In that case, bad girls need to be punished. Ai freezes before bursting into laughter at his tickling attack. She yelps out that she surrenders!
They also enter the bath together and dry their hair together. Natsuki notes that her hair has grown longer again. Ai asks if that’s true and then remarks on how she thought she should go to a salon soon, but she wasn’t too sure judging on her own. She points out that his bangs have grown longer too. Natsuki wonders about that because he too has a hard time judging it on his own. And then he chuckles at how interesting it is that they each know the other better than they know themselves.
She notices him fall silent and calls out his name questioningly. He shakes his head and says that he was simply thinking on how wonderful it was to have someone like that. And then he tells her that he’s done drying her hair. She thanks him and then notes that it’s her turn to dry his hair.
At the end of the day, they both go to sleep in the same bed. Natsuki informs her that he’s going to turn off the lights. She asks for him to wait a minute since she still has something to do. He asks if her throat is dry and if she needs a drink of water. She shakes her head and says timidly that what she needs to do involves him… she asks him to continue looking that way. And then leans over and pecks him.
He startles and she hurriedly explains that he’s always doing it to her and so she thought to return the action. He’s stunned though to receive it from her… Ai blurts out a hasty good night. He chuckles before returning her good night. Every day is fulfilled. It’s almost so happy that it causes some uneasiness. But she’s filled by it so much that she has no room for uneasiness.
Weekend. She stares outside the window as a cold wintry wind blows by and, even though the room is supposed to be warm, her body trembles as if feeling a cold air wrap around her skin. And then a warm hand wraps around her shoulders from behind. Exchanging a smile, she carefully leans her body back. Touching shoulders. A transmitted warmth. There is an atmosphere between them that didn’t change from when they were lovers to a married couple.
Natsuki suddenly asks her something that he’s wanted to ask before. Is she really happy to be with him? She doesn’t regret marrying him, does she? Ai asks him what he means by that. He answers that he wonders about this once in a while, whether she’s glad to be with him. He points out that they made a promise, long ago when they were children, to marry and it seems like they came together as a result of that.
He wonders whether her future was bound by this childhood promise and whether he might have stolen it from her or something… Ai opens her mouth, but he hurriedly tells her not to misunderstand because he’s happy being together with her. It’s only that sometimes he runs out of self-confidence. The hand that caresses her head is as large as usual. His height is tall and his shoulders are wide. And so she may have been spoiled and caused him some uneasiness.
Ai reassures him that he didn’t steal anything and, instead, it’s more like he gave her many things. He blinks in confusion. She explains that this feeling of loving someone, the feeling of receiving happiness… he taught her everything. She doesn’t think of that promise as stealing her future. More like, thanks to Natsuki, she looked forward to becoming an adult and was given a dream.
He murmurs her name, touched. She confesses to him that she’s happy to have had a promised person, because it meant that she wouldn’t be alone. THAT’S… NOT VERY HEALTHY THINKING BENIYURI. She tells him that, because he was by her side, she was never alone she was always able to be positive. That promise was like a hope to her. Natsuki admits that it was the same for him and it was also a hope. He’s always wished for this future. Always and always…
Suddenly, he exerts force with his hand and draws her closer into him. For an instant, she feels like her world has grown a little darker but, more importantly, she’s preoccupied by the words he’s spinning. Kagiha notes softly that this is the world that she wished for, huh. Beniyuri nods. He asks her if this is her happiness? She nods. His voice is quiet 「そう・・・なら、僕はどこまでも守ってみせる。」(I see… in that case, I’ll protect it no matter what). Her breathing hitches.
Kagiha tells her that he’ll protect her from whatever she’s afraid of. She murmurs his real name, Natsuki. He continues on to say that her wish is his wish, but… he also wants her to have the same wish as him. And that’s why… he also wants her to give herself to him… okay?
A pleasantly warm body. A pleasant voice. A pleasant gaze. Her loneliness is softened. Ah yes, she wanted to be together with this person. This is her wish…
Suddenly, the voice reappears and asks if that is true? Beniyuri covers her ears against the random noise. Kagiha asks her what the matter is. She shakes her head and replies that she’s just hearing the rain as usual. All that reaches her ears is the heartbeat of the person beside her. That’s all. A regular rhythm that soothes her and makes her eyelids feel heavy. She feels like she’s sinking to the bottom of sleep.
Kagiha’s voice is light as he notices that she’s sleepy. It’s night though so it can’t be helped. She nods. He suggests for her to sleep for a little bit and surely she won’t be able to hear the sound of rain anymore. She nods again, weaker. He continues on to say that if she does so then she’ll also return back to that happy daily life. His voice is soft and sweet 「ゆっくりおやすみ。僕の可愛い奥さん。」(Sleep well, my cute wife).
As she nods off the world becomes dim. As if calling out tenderly, reality is repainted with the colors of a sweet world. A place with no pain and an eternal, never-ending happiness. A far away world with sweet happiness.
SON OF A– I TRUSTED YOU TO DO THE RIGHT THING KAGIHA. HOLY SHIT. HO L Y SHIT. THIS IS IT TOO BTW. HE DOESN’T HAVE ANOTHER ENDING LM FAO. OH MY GOD.