Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly ~ Hikage CD ~

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Hikage (緋影)
CV: Ishikawa Kaito (石川 界人)

(Huge spoilers in the character song and following drama CD tracks as usual! Please make sure you’ve read the bulk of my Psychedelica posts before this one! PS. I CRY EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO HIS STUPID SONG.)

Song translation, mini-drama, good morning, and good night tracks.

黒蝶夢想
BLACK BUTTERFLY DREAMS

雨は降りやまない
The rain won’t stop falling
もう空には戻れない 堕ちるだけ
There’s no returning to the sky anymore / There’s only falling
求めることは狂気 この翅(はね)は罪の色
What I find is madness / These wings are the color of sin

闇に終焉(おわり)はない
There is no demise (end) in the darkness
差し出す手を汚すだけ やめてくれ
I will only dirty that extended hand / Please stop
無防備な微笑みに 否(いな)むしか 術もない
Towards that defenseless smile there’s nothing to do but refuse

きっと君のせいだね
It’s definitely because of you
バラバラに壊れた 約束も
Everything’s broken into pieces / Even that promise
「大丈夫だよ」と 嘘ついたあの日も
Even that day I told the lie “It’ll be okay”
想い出させる
I’m made to remember

永遠だから絶望なのか?
Is it because there is an eternity that there is despair?
嗚呼、はじめから間違ってたのか?
Ah, was I mistaken from the start?
無理矢理 奪う口吻(くちづけ)だけが
Forcibly / With a stolen way of speaking (kiss)
君に触れた 僅かな真実
I touched you / A small truth
こぼれてく 記憶の欠片
The fragments of memories are spilling
すこしだけ 君が憎いよ
I hate you just a little bit

雨は降り続くよ
The rain continues to fall
水面に爪たてるように いつまでも
Always, like claws on the water
歪んだ水鏡に ヒカリなど映らない
On that distorted surface of water, something like LIGHT won’t reflect

君は舞い立つ蝶々
You’re a flock of rising butterflies
泣きじゃくり それでも まっすぐに
Even while sobbing, directly
奇跡のように 羽ばたくその姿
like a miracle, that form of your flapping wings
ひどく愛しい
is terribly lovely

たどりついても絶望なのか?
Even when we finally arrive is it just despair?
底の見えない 時の奈落か?
I can’t see the bottom / Is this the hell of time?
叶うことなき 願いを抱いて
Without my wish coming true/ I embrace my desires
夢を見るよ 愚かな夢を
I see a dream, a foolish dream

永遠だから絶望なのか?
Is it because there is an eternity that there is despair?
嗚呼、はじめから間違ってたのか?
Ah, was I mistaken from the start?
無理矢理 奪う口吻(くちづけ)だけが
Forcibly / With a stolen way of speaking (kiss)
君に触れた 僅かな真実
I touched you / A small truth

たどりついても絶望なのか?
Even when we finally arrive is it just despair?
底の見えない 時の奈落か?
I can’t see the bottom / Is this the hell of time?
時を戻して 君に逢いたい
Rewind time / I want to meet you
夢を見るよ 優しい夢を
I see a dream, a gentle dream

旅立ちのその時がきた
When the time to depart on a journey comes
ほら、やがて雨もあがる
Look, in the end, even the rain lifts
・・・その蝶はたどりつけたか?
… Did that butterfly finally arrive at its destination?
・・・最期には微笑(わら)っていたか?
… Did it smile (laugh) at the end?

*** ANOTHER ENDING DRAMA ***

Hikage: This is… my last memory. The last memory in that long dream. If you wish, I’ll tell it once more. That which surely cannot be granted… my last lie.

*BGM starts*

*a gun clicks*

Beniyuri: Stop it, Hikage-kun! Drop your gun!

H: I was mistaken from the start. The one who killed my sister and created this interspace was me! There’s nothing else to do… but this!

B: That’s not true! There’ll be a way to return to life or to redo things… there’s still–

H: I committed sins! I must accept that.

B: *gasps*

H: This interspace is an ephemeral thing. It’s just… a dream of the dead. Sometime or other people will wake from their dreams… and the time for you and I to wake has come.

B: HIKAGE-KUN!

*something shatters*

B: I can’t really move my legs! Why?! Even though I need to stop Hikage-kun…! Stop it! Please!!

*a bell rings*

H: *gasps* White butterflies…

B: Butterflies… Usagi-chan? Have you come to help? *gasps* My legs… they moved! HIKAGE-KUN!

[2:00]

*she crashes into him*

H: Ah! Ugh!… Beniyuri… move away. I don’t want to get you involved as well.

B: Don’t say that!

H: …! Beniyuri…

B: Hikage-kun… you absolutely are Usagi-chan’s brother, huh. Usagi-chan said that too… “I don’t want to get you involved”.

H: That girl…

B: But did you know that’s really lonely? To not be by your precious person’s side when they’re in pain… it’s really sad. Stop trying to end your own life. Don’t ever do that kind of thing!

H: The one who planned and deceived you all was me… I bore a grudge… hated… I even would have killed. And yet… you… why… are you crying?

*he drops his gun*

B: Hikage-kun…

H: That’s why… I told you not to get close to me. You… even at the very last moment you won’t let me die selfishly. To allow yourself to exist like this… even though I didn’t want to make you feel the horror of disappearing…

B: Eh?

*glass shatters and wood breaks*

H: You see it, right? The crumbling of this mansion… This world that I created is breaking right now, even without my will.

B: The interspace… is breaking?

H: Yes, but don’t worry, you’re still alive. You can still return to the real world like this. Only…

B: Only…?

[4:00]

H: You need to be here with me and personally see the collapse of the interspace. Your own existence… and the horror of it gradually disappearing… can you endure it?

B: Rather than seeing Hikage-kun die… it’s much more better.

H: Heh… I’ve told you already that I’ve been long dead.

B: No, you’re wrong. Hikage-kun, you were alive here together with me. You talked together with me and we passed every day together… that Hikage-kun… I…

H: Beniyuri…

*glass is falling*

H: You’re right. If this is the end… then just a little… just a bit… give me your time. Before you wake from this dream… only a little… I would like the warmth of the living.

*he hugs her*

H: … In truth, before I held you in my arms like this… I wanted to end everything.

B: Why?

H: The interspace is a world that uses my thoughts. The thought of not wanting to disappear… I wondered if it might not bind you here. I was scared. I don’t want to hurt anyone precious to me anymore.

B: Your precious… person…?

H: *amused* I don’t want to admit it though. But it’s too late. If you can’t return to your world, don’t make any complaints.

B: Is that… Hikage-kun… thinking you don’t want to forget me?

H: … I don’t want to admit it though.

B: *giggles*

H: Why are you laughing?

B: Hikage-kun is still Hikage-kun. Even at this time you’re not honest.

[6:00]

H: If you’re going to say that then being meddlesome at the very end is just like you. Let me see your face well.

B: My face?

H: That’s right. Your cheeks… eyes… lips… I want to engrave everything in my mind. It’s fine if you forget… no, do forget about me.

B: No way!

*glowing happens*

B: Hikage’s face… I can’t see it well… Why?!

H: The end is close. Sooner or later we won’t be able to see each other’s form.

B: No! I want to remember everything! I want to be with Hikage-kun more–

H: That’s enough… Don’t say any more than that. Your lips are warm, huh… I can tell through my fingertip. Just a touch… makes me want to touch it more. It makes me want to spend much more time with you.

B: Me too… I want to stay together with Hikage-kun more.

H: Are you… crying again? Your cheeks are wet…

B: Hikage-kun…

H: If you hold onto my hand like that… I won’t be able to wipe your tears.

B: Hikage-kun’s hand… is warm. I want to touch it like this forever. Stay with me? At least until I wake from this dream.

H: Heh… what a convenient dream. I completely did whatever I pleased… and was saved at the end. It’s not suitable for a human like me… but it’s a pleasant dream.

B: But I… wanted to see another dream too.

[8:00]

H: … What kind?

B: Talking normally under the sun… playing… going to school together… I wanted to see various faces of Hikage-kun.

H: School is just a place to study, right? What’s fun about that?

B: It’d be fun! Studying together with Hikage-kun and having even a normal life… would surely be fun.

H: … just that is fine? You’re surprisingly not greedy.

B: Then what about Hikage-kun?

H: It’d be taking your hand like this… being by your side… and wanting to see you. Because if I open my mouth I might say unnecessary things.

B: …!

H: What? Don’t suddenly become embarrassed or I’ll become embarrassed too. I don’t need to see well to know that your temperature went up.

B: Ah, you’re right. Hikage-kun’s hand is hot too. *giggles* We’re the same. Hey… Hikage-kun…

H: What?

B: If I say this now… it might trouble Hikage-kun but… I… like you, Hikage-kun.

H: … I know.

B: Mm. But I wanted to properly put it into words. Right now… there’s no other way but that to convey it.

H: …

B: Hikage-kun?

H: There’s a way to convey it without words.

B: Do you mean–

*he kisses her*

H: This… is my feelings.

B: Ah!

H: Even at the end it looks like I couldn’t do anything but steal from you, huh.

[10:00]

*glass is falling*

B: … No, your feelings were properly conveyed. But… I want to see you more… My eyes are getting blurry. It looks like you’re far away…

H: In that case, you should come closer… *whispers* to the point of not knowing where one starts and the other ends. Close…

B: Are you really going to disappear?

H: Beniyuri… this is a dream… when you wake, reality is waiting for you.

B: But–

H: It’ll be a happy reality. You’ll be surrounded by friends… live a happy life… spend every day happily… I’ll be born as a student like you, passing the days, and from the start you and I won’t notice each other… but one day, for sure, I’ll find you. I’ll find you and just like now… I’ll touch you. When you realize that, turn around…

B: I understand… this isn’t the end, right?

H: Yeah, you’re just returning to reality. Just begin again from there…

B: *starts to cry*

H: Let’s meet again on the other side. I look forward to a normal life where occasionally nothing happens.

B: Even at this time you’re going to talk like that?

H: It can’t be helped, right? This is who I am, after all.

B: Mm, that’s right… I’m also… looking forward to meeting you, Hikage-kun.

H: Goodbye, Beniyuri. Until we meet again.

*wood breaks and glass continues to fall*

*loud crash*

*** SITUATION VOICE “GOOD MORNING” ***

H: You’re late. Did you not hear me? I just said you’re late! I’m not being strict. I waited a long time for you to wake. You could at least let me complain that much, right?… Wait, your hair is messy. It would be best to fix it. There’s no way you don’t care about that, right? If you won’t fix it yourself then– no, wait, it’d be strange if I fixed it huh… you should fix it yourself still.

[0:55]

H: Geez… your clothes are in the same state. Straighten out the wrinkles in your collar and hem! You’ll look cleaner that way. Oi, your collar is–… I’m not going to fix it! You do something about it yourself! Hm, okay, that’s good. You don’t need to thank me, but be more self-aware! You’re always leaving so many openings. Men are the type to look at those openings and misunderstand. You need to be more careful of your surroundings, because I can’t always be around watching out for you.

[1:35]

H: Right now… you look like you want to yawn, huh. *sighs* Don’t tell me that you aren’t going to. It’s just, when I think about anyone seeing your current state, I feel uneasy… well then, you’ll only show me this? What are you trying to do by purposefully showing me your careless appearance? Heh, I was joking. You’re overreacting. Well, it’s not bad to feel trusted. But this and having a messy appearance are different problems. Arrange yourself properly.

[2:20]

H: It’s good so long as you understand… At any rate, you’re really sleepy huh. It isn’t from staying up late at night yesterday, right?… Did I guess right? *sighs* I don’t know when you usually go to sleep but I don’t like it when you brush off my warnings. I told you to go to sleep early so that you won’t be sleepy like this… A book? You read the book I lent you? That’s not a bad thing, but it’s not something you need to stay up at night reading, right?

[3:10]

H: Hm? I see, so you like this kind of thing? In that case, next time I’ll lend you a book by the same author. It reads the same but is written on a different subject and it’s an interesting work; above all else, the ending is excellent and– no, you’ll see for yourself when you read it. Huh? No, you don’t have to be so pleased– I’m lending it to you because you’re honestly interested. It’s not a big deal.

[3:45]

H: … It’s not something you need to thank me for… I won’t know how to respond to your honesty like that… By the way, the heroine of that book resembles you a bit. She’s sincere and honest but she’s also reckless and makes all those around her worry endlessly. Look, you have no self-awareness. You have to be careful because your actions bewilder those around you more than you think. If you didn’t come off that way to me then I wouldn’t nag you so much.

[4:25]

H: You’re often careless with your personal appearance and other men won’t say anything stupid, so I can’t help but worry. Geez… you’re also unaware of me… I do have concerns about you but I’m not criticizing you. Just… someone may try to trick you… !! I said something unnecessary. At any rate, sleep earlier tonight. Or is it that I need to give you a warning before you sleep?… That’s… something I would do if I was asked I guess… Don’t be so pleased. Geez, you’re a handful… Ah, that’s right, I haven’t said it yet, huh. Good morning and I look forward to working with you.

*** SITUATION VOICE “GOOD NIGHT”***

H: What is it? Weren’t you going to sleep? I’ve been staying because you said you wanted me to be here until you fell asleep, but if you’re not going to do that then I’m going home. It was a joke. I’ll let you know clearly when I’m going to leave. What’s with that look? I’m not lecturing you, it was an opinion. After all, apparently the things you hear about before you sleep will remain in your memories easier. If we’re going to chat like this then doing it right before you sleep is best, right?

[0:50]

H: In the first place though, I think you’re being too spoiled when you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep. Normally the time before going to sleep is spent preparing for next morning and personal grooming, no? Having me accompany you during that precious time… You should think about spending your time better. Hm? You’re not listening to me, are you? *sighs* Why are you laughing? No, whatever, it’s fine… It’s nothing, I’m just reflecting on myself and the nagging and complaining I’m doing.

[1:35]

H: I said before that the things you do before sleeping will be remembered easier, right? If things are going to remain strongly in your memories then I want to treasure that time… is all. You thought the same by choosing me to stay by your side like this, right?… What? Am I mistaken? It isn’t just you using up this time before sleeping, my precious time before sleeping has also been purposefully taken by you. If I’m mistaken then there won’t be a problem if I’m not here, right?… I’m joking. I just teased you a bit because watching you become flustered is interesting.

[2:25]

H: Making that face is futile. It’s because you yourself didn’t recognize that the time we spend together is precious. Making me be the only one to say it… that’s unfair. Are you still unhappy? Geez, at this rate you’re not going to be able to sleep at all. Well, I did promise, so I’ll stay until the end. It’d be best if you hurry up and went to sleep though. I don’t mind talking for a little bit before you sleep though. What do you want to talk about?

[3:10]

H: Fairy tales? That’s not a conversation topic! Of all things too… a fairy tale. You’re not a child… It’ll help you sleep…? But, unfortunately, I’m not very familiar with fairy tales. I know, I’ll look some up for next time… a peaceful story that will help you fall asleep. Are you feeling sleepy? Then close your eyes like that. I’ll stay by your side until you’re fully asleep…

[3:55]

H: Geez, for you to ask me to stay by your side until you fall asleep… most likely something happened to make you feel depressed, huh… Your lack of abilities can be quite amazing, but there’s a way back… and I’ll acknowledge the value in that. It doesn’t matter if you fail… just try harder again tomorrow. If I can then I’ll lend you my help… Oh? You’re asleep?… Why are you smiling in your sleep? Geez… you’re so careless. But having that expression is many times better than anything. If I see you peaceful sleeping face then I can sleep peacefully too… Good night and have sweet dreams.

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