Kokuchou no Psychedelica ~ Monshiro Interlude ~

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(Last interlude, yay!)

Beware spoilers, as usual.


Kazuya was always alone, though it wasn’t because he was bullied. Alone, he just gave off this different atmosphere and so others didn’t get close to him. Kazuya didn’t seem to care about his surroundings either but from time to time there was a lonely expression on his face. That’s why Ai became curious about him.

For their physical education, their school brought them to the park and Ai is playing volleyball with her classmates. Because their school grounds were small they often came to this park for science and gym. It’s a place she always plays at but she really likes being able to go outside during the middle of school. Her friends toss the ball and it flies high into the air. Ai squeaks as she misses the ball and it falls.

Ai notices that the ball has rolled away and she tells them that she’ll retrieve it. Her friends nod. She runs after the rolling ball through the park. Ai chases after the ball and calls out at it to wait for her! She finally catches up to the ball in the corner of the park and, just as she’s about to pick it up, she notices Kazuya sitting in the corner and looking vacant. Usually whenever she glances at him, she passes by without stopping but…

Unusually, she becomes curious about Kazuya who is looking at the ground intently. She picks up the ball and timidly approaches Kazuya. Ai calls out to him and asks him what he’s doing here. Upon hearing her voice, he looks up at her slowly. He replies that he’s scribbling. She repeats his words and then asks where. He answers right here. Kazuya silently points at the ground and she follows his finger to see that he’s drawn a car and train with a stick.

She exclaims about how skilled he is at drawing but he tells her that he’s just average. He continues to stay crouched and resumes drawing again, scratching at the ground with the stick. Kazuya, who usually looks outside the classroom blankly, is almost like a different person and is alive. When she looks at him though his atmosphere is the same unchanging silence. But she can see the air around him almost dancing with excitement.

Ai asks if he’s always drawing here. He nods before adding that, sometimes, he reads books from the library. She suddenly asks him if he can draw Mita the Cat. He doesn’t know what she’s talking about and asks for a model to look at so he can draw. Ai excitedly takes off the badge on her jacket and shows it to Kazuya. He asks to borrow it because he’d like to get a closer look. She nods immediately and so he takes it, setting it beside the car, and begins to draw.

She praises him and says they look exactly alike! He bashfully asks if that’s true. She nods quickly and tells him that he can be an artist! Kazuya doesn’t think one can easily become an artist like that. She laughs awkwardly and takes a seat beside him as he silently draws before watching his hands.

At that moment, a couple of boys from their class come by with a soccer ball. One of them points out that Kazuya is with a girl. Another one sneers at how lame that is when they’re outside. The first boy talks about how creepy Kazuya is because he’s always staring vacantly into space. The second boy wonders if he’s been haunted by a ghost because his shadow is weak. The first boy bursts out laughing and thinks that this is why Kazuya can only talk to girls!

The second boy remarks on how Kazuya is Takuya’s twin, but they’re completely different. They start to laugh mockingly and look over in the distance, where Takuya is playing soccer. Takuya yells out that he’s going to shoot, but the other boys playing with him tell him that he’s too fast and they can’t catch up! Takuya only laughs. At any rate, the boys turn back to look at Kazuya from the lively spectacle.

They comment on how Takuya is good at soccer and fighting… are they really twins? They look down on Kazuya. Ai becomes irritated at their way of talking and starts to tell them to cut it out, but as she stands up to complain Kazuya grabs her clothes and stops her. Kazuya tells her to let it go. Ai protests quietly. The first boy loudly asks them what they are doing. Are they secretly talking!?

The second boy tells them that, later, they’re going to write on the blackboard that Kazuya and Ai are sharing one umbrella! THIS IS AN ANALOGY TO OUR SITTING IN A TREEHOUSE AND KISSING SONG LOL. They snicker to themselves and run off to Takuya’s group.

Ai rolls her eyes and asks what their problem was; it was lame. Kazuya tells her not to worry about it since it always happens. Ai repeats his words and takes a look at his profile as he starts to move the stick. He told her not to worry about it but… his lips are pressed tight. She knows immediately that he doesn’t mean what he said. Ai says to him that drawing is nice but would he like to play with her today?

Kazuya repeats her words in surprise and stops drawing, turning to look at her. Ai nods and tells him that she’s playing volleyball with her friends today. If he wants to, would he like to play with them? She takes the ball that she had set beside her and hands it to him. He glances at it before lowering his eyes to the ground again. Kazuya tells her that he’s not very good at ball games and he isn’t like Takuya, who is good at them.

Ai tells him that it doesn’t matter! They’re in gym and it’s not a match, so it’s fine as long as they have fun. For some reason she wants Kazuya to play and have fun too, so she invites him with all her might. But Kazuya’s attitude becomes stubborn and he tells her that he’s fine; he doesn’t want to be a trouble and it’s almost time for them to return to school. At his words, she looks up at the clock in the park.

It felt like they had just arrived but it’s almost time to gather! Ai exclaims in surprise that there’s only 10 more minutes left! It looks like she became engrossed in Kazuya’s drawing and a lot of time passed. She winces and wonders if everyone is worrying about her. Kazuya tells her that she should return back to her friends quickly then. Ai nods and quickly takes the ball and stands; she starts to head back to everyone but, in the end she’s still concerned, turns back to Kazuya.

Ai asks if they can play together next time then? Kazuya blinks in surprise. Ai tells him that she wants to draw with him too! His eyes widen and he stares at her. She hesitantly asks if she’s not allowed. He shakes his head and says that he doesn’t mind; he’s always at his own seat but if she wants to come then… Ai nods and makes a promise to draw together tomorrow during their lunch. Kazuya gives her a small smile and nods.

Her heart jumped lightly upon seeing Kazuya’s smile. It was fun playing with everyone but she looked forward to drawing with Kazuya. She was the only one who knew that he was good at drawing. She was the only one who knew his gentle smile. Somehow it felt like she had become something precious to Kazuya and it made her happy. What should she draw tomorrow? That was all she could think about as she ran back to her friends.

*** HOOKED ON SWEET SCENTS (甘い匂いにつられて) ***

From time to time, she thinks about what would happen if this were the real world. If this place was her house and she were living normally with Monshiro then… they probably wouldn’t be able to sit beside each other like this, huh. It’s because this isn’t the real world that they’re sitting so closely to each other. It’s because this is a world where there’s nothing else they can rely on–

Beniyuri hesitantly calls out Monshiro’s name, who looks at her questioningly. She asks him if he isn’t sitting a little… too close. He responds that it’s the same as yesterday. She agrees but he was sitting too close to her yesterday, and so he’s sitting too close to her today. Monshiro points out that she was okay with it yesterday, but it’s not okay today? She winces and agrees to leave this topic today but warns him that normally girls don’t like guys plastered all over them.

He asks her why; she answers that it’s embarrassing. He tells her that he’s not embarrassed. She asks him why he isn’t. He returns the question and asks her why she is. What’s wrong with being close to the person one likes? She becomes flustered about hearing the word “like” even though she knows that he doesn’t mean it romantically. She blurts out that Japanese people are restrained and discreet so…

Monshiro tells her that he doesn’t understand. Beniyuri realizes that he doesn’t understand her common knowledge! As she becomes troubled, he uses this time to lean even closer to her. He’s warm and she can understand the sense of security of being close to someone. Monshiro murmurs that she’s kind and fun, and so he likes her. She can’t say anything to him when he says that. But she does ask if he doesn’t have anyone else that he likes, apart from her?

He repeats her words questioningly. She encourages to think of anyone; someone in this refuge, this mansion, or anyone. He replies simply that he likes being together with people more than he does being alone, and among them he likes Beniyuri. She laughs awkwardly and thanks him. She was thinking of getting him to snuggle up to someone else but it doesn’t seem to have worked… she is happy that he likes her though.

Monshiro tells her that he doesn’t like being alone. Beniyuri becomes serious and asks him if he didn’t have anyone to talk to before. He shakes his head and admits that he spoke little. She thinks about the mansion and the masked people come to mind; she also thinks about how whenever she exchanged words with them, they immediately became monsters, and then disappeared.

Could it be that Monshiro spoke with them too but the result ended up the same… She murmurs that it must have been lonely not being able to talk, huh. Monshiro tells her that this is why he’s having fun right now and wants to talk a lot. She nods and understands how this must be why he is so close to her and why she doesn’t refuse him. She’s lost her memories and doesn’t know anything but… she can’t even imagine his loneliness. It might be best for her to let him do whatever he wants, at least when he’s together with her.

Monshiro asks if she’s having fun? She blinks in surprise. He asks if she has fun together with him? She repeats his words thoughtfully and ends up admitting that she does; their interactions are fresh and so it’s fun. At the very least, she doesn’t end up thinking about anything unneeded like what she needs to do from here, how they need to defeat the monsters, and whether or not they can trust someone… if she could, she doesn’t want to think about those at all.

Monshiro states that they should stay together then. He suddenly hugs Beniyuri tightly, who is still thinking. She knows he doesn’t have ulterior motives but she’s not at ease either. Her heart is beating fast and, despite how gentle the hug is, his body is still unmistakably a male. It’d be strange to not be self-conscious. Beniyuri thanks him but tries to get him to release her now.

However, he raises a hand and then she can feel a nose grazing her hair. Monshiro murmurs that she has a nice smell. She repeats his words in confusion. He tells her that it’s like a flower. Beniyuri hesitates before asking him if he’s smelling the tea she drank before? He hums in thought at that and then inhales deeply, making her blurt out that he doesn’t need to remove his mask to do that! It’s embarrassing!

He tells her that it’s okay, because he’s not embarrassed. Beniyuri tells him loudly that it’s not okay! She’s really curious about the mask that he’s removed, which he has always worn. She can’t see his expression from here but she can tell that he’s smelling her hair. She points out that everyone is going to misunderstand because his face is too close! Monshiro points out that no one is here. She retorts that they could come at any second.

But Monshiro believes that no one will… probably. Beniyuri knows that he has no basis for his confidence, and yet for some reason his words are persuasive. And so she agrees to stay like this but just for a little bit because she’s embarrassed. He nods and agrees on just a little while longer. But she feels like he has no intentions of letting her go and continues to be tucked against her, concentrating on her hair.

Beniyuri admits in her mind that she’s a little bit sad that she can’t see his expression, even at this time. Beniyuri starts to ask about his mask but changes her mind. She thinks about how demanding to know about it doesn’t make it right and she learned that during the incident with Yamato. She’s just being curious and so she’ll leave it alone.

Monshiro has a lot of secrets but he lets her see the most important parts, which is that he’s been alone up to now and he wants to be together with someone. For that sake, he offered her aid and even came to this refuge. That is an unmistakable fact. In that case, she’ll properly accept his feelings and understand him. At the very least, just for now…

*** HOW LONG WERE YOU HERE? (いつからここに?) ***

White butterflies dance in the room. Lately, when she sees that she feels relieved. They won’t meet monsters in places with white butterflies and nothing dangerous will happen. Thanks to that they can relax in their refuge and it is also possible to be safe in the greenhouse. And so, on occasion, when she sees a single butterfly split from the flock and become what looks like a lost child it’s a bit cute. It’s just a white butterfly though and she realizes that she’s being strange.

Beniyuri tells Monshiro that she’s going to go in now. He nods. Monshiro has escorted her to the greenhouse, and they exchange a businesslike farewell. It’s always like this right before she enters the greenhouse.

She heads into the greenhouse and looks around but she can’t see Yamato. He might not be in her vicinity so she circles the greenhouse but the result is the same. Maybe he slipped out for a moment? As she thinks that, she heads back to the entrance and then sees a piece of paper where Yamato is usually sitting. All that is written is a short phrase saying that he’ll be back soon. Beniyuri is relieved but waiting here alone is lonely, despite the white butterflies crossing her vision and letting her know that this place is safe. She decides to exit and talk to Monshiro.

When she exits, she sees him sitting alone in the hallway and looking at the butterfly necklace that he has. He looks up at her upon hearing her call out his name and asks if something is the matter. She explains that Yamato is out right now and she’s bored waiting alone, so won’t he come in to wait with her? Monshiro immediately nods his head.

They head back into the greenhouse and Beniyuri confesses that being alone in such a large space is kind of lonely. Monshiro only nods again before saying slowly that being alone is… lonely. And then he starts to walk. Beniyuri watches in surprise as a white butterfly, as if used to his presence, lands on Monshiro’s finger when he stretches out his hand. But the butterfly doesn’t seem interested in him and after circling his fingers once, it flies off again.

Monshiro stiffens, as if in shock, and then chases after the butterfly. He calls out at it to wait and Beniyuri watches in amusement as he chases the butterfly around. The butterfly stops after a while and Monshiro also stops, making it seem like the butterfly made him chase it on purpose. She can slowly see that his actions are playing. After playing some more by himself he turns around and calls out to her.

He apologizes because he forgot about her. She reassures him that she doesn’t mind and it was fun watching him. He shakes his head though and proclaims that he’s going to stay together with her, and comes to her side to sit down. He still seems interested in the butterflies but starts to search for something to talk about. He tells her that he can always play with the butterflies but it’s different with her.

She repeats his words in confusion. Different? He explains that she’s busy and they don’t have many chances to talk. Beniyuri realizes that he’s right and they don’t spend a lot of time being alone together. He tells her that she’s precious to him, because she’s his first companion. She’s struck by his words about being the first. He hesitates though before asking to confirm if they’re companions. She immediately nods and tells him that they are! He’s glad.

Monshiro’s words resound in her heart; he’s become an irreplaceable companion and she’s happy but… she also feels, once again, that he’s been alone up to now. She realizes out loud that he must have been alone in this greenhouse before they came, right? He nods. She asks him how long he’s been here. Monshiro repeats her words thoughtfully, but then raises his head and shakes it. He doesn’t know. The time he’s spent here differs from the time he’s spent with Beniyuri and the others in their refuge.

His words come out slow as he explains that it was a very, very long time. It’s been so long since he arrived here that he’s forgotten. Beniyuri repeats his words quietly; she can’t see his expression because of his mask, but she can hear the tone of his voice. It’s lonely and full of pain. She murmurs that it must have been hard on him.

He replies that he doesn’t know… he doesn’t know but he doesn’t want to return to that state. He doesn’t want to be alone. He wants to be together with Beniyuri and the others. Right now the time with them is short, fun, and full of happiness though. She nods as she hears the pain in his voice. He repeats his words as if through gritted teeth and then clenches his fist. He doesn’t want to leave Beniyuri and the others. He wants to be together with them. He doesn’t want to be alone.

Monshiro wants to stay like this. He wants to stay forever like this. He doesn’t want to part from them. She notices that he’s clenched his fists really hard and his hands are trembling. Monshiro, who is honest, innocent, and is clumsy in speech. He’s trying to convey his feelings through his words with all his might, but she can understand just from looking at him. Beniyuri reassures him that she thinks the same and everyone is a friend.

She summons up the courage to pat him on the back and he raises his head slowly. And then, like that, he touches her cheek with his fingers. His fingers are colder than she would have thought. She calls out his name questioningly. But he only replies that he doesn’t want to let her go. Even though he’s wearing a mask, she can tell that he is looking directly at her and that he is serious.

But she doesn’t know what to do with the fingers touching her cheek and so even though she returns his gaze she has no reply. What is he trying to tell her? Even though he’s someone who always comes close to her without asking permission. He seems a bit different today…? As if noticing her confusion, he withdraws his hand and then leans his forehead against her shoulder. He tells her that he’d like everyone to continue being friends and he…

Beniyuri holds her breath. He whispers, in a voice that she can barely hear, that he doesn’t want to break that… the group they have right now. She can only tell him that things will be okay, but he doesn’t respond to her consoling words. He only shakes his head as if disagreeing with her. She wonders what answer he wants. For a while, Monshiro doesn’t separate from her and she ends up realizing that he’s fallen asleep.

Of course, Yamato finds them like that when he returns. He asks her why Monshiro is sleeping here. She laughs awkwardly and answers that he seems to have been sleepy. He must have tired himself out after thinking about various things. Yamato shrugs but then remarks on how it’s quite amazing for Monshiro to have fallen asleep in that posture. She agrees since she’s only supporting his head.

Monshiro continues sleeping without waking from their voices; he’s still seated too. Yamato calls him a wild animal. She parrots his words in confusion. He explains that Monshiro can sleep in any position and tucks himself close to people who he likes. Isn’t that like an animal? She can only agree awkwardly. Countless white butterflies float around Monshiro as he sleeps.

Surrounded by butterflies, the night deepens around them. If they could talk, what would they say to them right now? Would they console them about their past or warn them about the future?

*** THE TWO IN THE INTERSPACE (狭間のふたり) ***

For a long time, he was alone in this world. Not knowing who he was and not being able to interact with anyone, he lives curling himself up in the middle of loneliness. And then, one day, the day takes a turn. An uncommon “living thing” runs into him.

A monster roars loudly. A young man, wearing a fox mask, immediately hides when he sees the monster appear. It looks to be something that just became a monster and is in pain, moving around with human-like movements. The young man wonders what it is. Was it someone who had been a part of the new arrivals with Hikage? It looks like they’ve become a monster though and so he needs to destroy it…

But the moment he pulls out his gun, the monster calls out the name “Kazuya”. Monshiro freezes. The monster groans out that it’s his fault that he… he begs Kazuya to forgive him. The creature curls up on the lawn and continues to moan out someone’s name, not realizing that there is another person here. Monshiro feels his head sway upon hearing the name that the monster is calling because it sounds terribly familiar. He relaxes his stance and lowers his gun as he watches over the monster.

And then, he starts to spend his days with that “creature” in the greenhouse which used to have no one but him. It’s never once happened before and he is confused, uncertain as to what to do, and nervous about sharing the space. But, more importantly, he can’t calm down and feels a warm, soft feeling spread in his chest. Right now, he’s not alone. He’s happy. To confirm these feelings, he spends every day just looking at the monster.

Occasionally, the monster would do some human-like actions and he feels like those actions were something he should know. As if a stone, dried of any water droplets, is starting to dampen again his lost memories resurface. And then he realizes that this creature in front of him is “Takuya”. He remembers that he himself is “Kazuya”.

Yes, he’s Kazuya. When did he forget that? And right now the person here is Takuya. Why is he in this form? Takuya is alone just like him. He wishes for someone to come and save Takuya.

The person came and helped was Ai… someone in the past who used to extend a hand to him, who was all alone, and made him join her circle of friends. He wondered why Ai came to this interspace and was lacking in memories like him, but she answered his wishes and approached Takuya to heal his battered and wounded heart. Not only that, but she also accepted him as a companion and treated him like family, like she did in the past.

At some point, the loneliness in his chest weakened and they should have been able to pass every day calmly like this but…

Beniyuri realizes that Kagiha is Natsuki and Hikage is Kazuya. She wonders how she didn’t realize it when everyone was so close to her. They didn’t need to get to know each other because they were previously friends… no, companions!

One single photograph collapsed their everyday. A picture that was taken from their summer camp. Hikage most likely used his power to make that appear and return everyone’s memories during their lifetime. At the same time “Kazuya” was stolen along with his face, name, and memories; they all became Hikage’s. Hikage took his place. He doesn’t know the reason. But this man, who he was reunited with after a long time, had his face and continued to exist as “Kazuya” right in front of him.

Monshiro… didn’t take the mask off his face and claim himself as “Kazuya”. It’s not that he didn’t feel distressed over his identity being taken but there were other feelings that surpassed that. If he asserted himself as the real thing then Hikage’s lies would come to light. In that case, the bonds that Ai strove so hard to make would break and everyone would become shattered. Above all he doesn’t want that to happen.

If everyone became shattered then their bright and calm days would end and he would return to loneliness. More importantly, Ai’s smile would disappear and he doesn’t want that over anything. Even though he knew everything would come to light… he wants to delay that day. And so he decides to be silent and continues to keep silent.

But, before long, he realizes how foolish he is. He is standing on the second floor when Usagi declares in the living room that this is wonderful and they have basically completed the kaleidoscope. One could almost call it complete. Beniyuri repeats her words in shock. Usagi informs them that there is only one or two more fragments left. These are the words of the master of the mansion.

Monshiro stiffens. Usagi said that the kaleidoscope was approaching completion. The kaleidoscope will be completed? Just a little bit more? He didn’t think that time would come for a while longer. He thought the fragments had been scattered all throughout the mansion and that it’d be difficult to collect them all. But if it is completed then the kaleidoscope will be able to grant any wish… It looks like everyone will return to their previous world but…

In the hallway at night, Kagiha stiffens upon seeing Monshiro, who had looked around to confirm they were alone before approaching him quietly. This person had always avoided him and the moment he saw him, his eyes filled with unease. But it immediately disappeared underneath a smile. Kagiha asks him what he’s doing here. Did he find Karasuba? He remains silent though, prompting Kagiha to call out his name. But Monshiro interrupts him and tells him to call him by Kazuya. He will also address Kagiha as Natsuki.

Natsuki is silent. Kazuya notes that it’s been a long time. It might not have been a long time since he’s spoken with Kagiha but it’s been a long time since he’s spoken to Natsuki. Natsuki remarks on how Kazuya hasn’t been able to be called that ever since Hikage took his place, huh. And so, why did he suddenly want to talk to him? Kazuya tells him that he knows Natsuki and Hikage think of him as a hindrance. But he was having fun with everyone and would like this to continue, but…

He believes that what Hikage is thinking of doing is strange and it’d be cruel to leave it like this. And so he’s telling Natsuki not to continue listening to Hikage, as always. Natsuki averts his eyes and comments on how he’s acting the same as usual; he’s never thought of Kazuya as being a hindrance but… he’s afraid. Kazuya is confused. Natsuki asks Kazuya if he remembers the time he left him and Hikage.

At that time Kazuya said that he doesn’t want to see anyone suffer and that he hasn’t thought about returning back to life. Kazuya nods; he remembers he said that. He tells Natsuki that 「死んでしまったのなら、白い蝶になってあの世へ行く。これが、当たり前だ。流れに逆らっちゃっだめなんだ。」(If someone dies then they become white butterflies and go to the afterlife. This is the natural course. You can’t go against the flow).

But Ai, Takuya, and Aki are still alive. And so he wants to return just them to their previous world. Natsuki nods and points out that Kazuya has already accepted his own death, which is why he… Kazuya tilts his head. He? Natsuki shakes his head though and says that it’s nothing. Kazuya calls out his name questioningly though. Natsuki tells him that he hasn’t thrown away his attachments yet.

Natsuki declares to Kazuya that he wants to return back to life together with “that girl” and he can’t think of anything that can grant that wish except for the kaleidoscope. His feelings differ from Kazuya’s and if Kazuya is saying that he’s going to return just those people back to their previous world then his actions are going to split Natsuki and “that girl”. This is why he was scared of Kazuya and continued to leave distance between them.

Kazuya is stunned that Natsuki loves Ai that much. Natsuki admits immediately that he loves her… no, he treasures her to the point where no words can express that. They promised to marry and it may have been a fleeting promise made because they were children, but he was serious at that time and she accepted it. They could become family. To him, who lost his blood relatives at a young age, “she” was a precious person who would become his new family. DAT’S KIND OF CREEPY YO.

Natsuki pleads with Kazuya not to deprive him of “that girl”. He wants to be together with her. Kazuya can only close his mouth at Natsuki’s pained plea. But before that… Kazuya asks Natsuki what Hikage said to him because there is no way that man would grant his wish– Natsuki answers that Hikage promised to return him and “that girl” back to the real world if he cooperated until the very end. Apparently Hikage has a reason to return to life as well and they have the same wish.

Kazuya stiffens and blurts out that he should know what kind of person Hikage is! Hikage is just using him! Natsuki replies calmly that he doesn’t care; he will let himself be used so long as his wish is granted. Kazuya tells him that his actions are wrong. He points out that Natsuki wasn’t like this in the past and he knew right from wrong. He would gently scold them whenever they did anything bad and he loved that Natsuki… Ai loved him like that too. And yet, he…

Natsuki tells him that it can’t be helped and they can’t remain as children. There are things that one can’t obtain without sacrifices. Kazuya asks if this is why Natsuki has remained silent and watched as Hikage involved countless people for the sake of his goal. Natsuki has no reply. Kazuya points out that people who should have disappeared as white butterflies suffered because of Hikage and became monsters. Natsuki averts his eyes.

Kazuya presses on. Will he continue to cooperate with Hikage? He doesn’t care about any others? Answer him! Natsuki has no objections and only looks at the ground before a light smile appears on his face. Kazuya asks him what’s so funny. Natsuki says lightly that he thought Hikage was quite prejudiced. But Kazuya wouldn’t know of how much he’s suffered since he ran away from Hikage immediately. Kazuya repeats his words in confusion.

Natsuki states that he and Hikage aren’t that different in the end. Kazuya has said that he’s being used by Hikage but he remains by Hikage’s side for the sake of his own wish. He admits that even if Hikage wasn’t there, so long as his wish can be granted, he would be fine with sacrificing countless others. Natsuki asks him lightly if he’s become strange. It’s true that in the past he wasn’t this selfish… he feels like he was slightly more aware of others. But at some point he can’t think about anyone else but himself now.

Himself… and “that girl”. He can’t wish for anything but a future together. Natsuki laughs weakly and admits that sometimes he hates himself. Kazuya can only call out his name in distress. Natsuki admits that he knows he is disgusting but even though he is aware of that he won’t change. It’s like he’s become a living monster. He almost wishes someone would stop him… would kill him so that he can pass on without turning so unbecoming…

Natsuki laughs again and comments on what a contradiction it is for him to think that while still wishing to return back to life. Kazuya realizes in his mind that Natsuki is already a… in that case he… HE DOESN’T EXPLICITLY SAY IT BUT PRETTY SURE HE THINKS NATSUKI IS A MONSTER NOW. Kazuya suddenly informs Kazuya that he’s returned the ribbon to Ai and so he no longer has anything to keep him here. Natsuki blinks in confusion.

Kazuya tells him that, before they can become any more twisted… together they will… Kazuya summons his gun. He aims it at Natsuki without hesitation and Natsuki only smiles at him calmly. THIS LEADS TO THE SCENE WHERE BENIYURI STUMBLES UPON MONSHIRO POINTING THE GUN AT KAGIHA IF YOU REMEMBER.

9 thoughts on “Kokuchou no Psychedelica ~ Monshiro Interlude ~

    Rini said:
    March 18, 2016 at 16:01

    Do you know who the story writer for Psychedelica is? After reading your detailed posts on this game, I can’t help but notice that Psychedelica has a lot of similar themes as Hana Awase. Complex plot, Heroine is childhood friends with the main guys, life and death themes, the butterflies, etc. I was thinking that they had the same writer. I just finished re-playing KU-hen and the similarities kinda made me a bit curious. Not saying that they were copying since I believe this was released earlier than KU-hen, I think? But then again HA’s plot has been ongoing for years… So maybe they have the same writer? Or it’s just a big coincidence?

      Ilinox responded:
      March 18, 2016 at 17:43

      Haha, it’s just a big coincidence! It’s been amusing me how this game has made me suffer over butterflies too though.

      Psychedelica’s director is Terashima Momoko, and they have three scenario writers: Yuriro, Benihara Kaoru, and Amemiya Uta.

      Hana Awase’s project leaders go by these aliases: Tsuki ni Murakumo and Hana ni Kaze (Gekka).

      I think they do share a lot of similarities but Psychedelica seems more focused on the concept of death and moving on while… I’m still not sure what the end-game for Hana Awase is (I’ve also only played Mizuchi-hen so far, oops) but it seems very samsara-esque. All the characters in HA seem trapped in a reincarnation wheel rather than being allowed to move on.

        Rini said:
        March 19, 2016 at 04:36

        Ah, thank you for answering! I didn’t know HA has two project leaders though (I thought it was only Gekka). You’re right about their differences when it comes to the life and death themes! I always keep associating games with those kind of plot with HA…

        I can’t wait for you’re Hime-hen posts! Even though I’m not a fan of Himeutsugi and his personality. It’ll be interesting to see your opinion on Hime’s game and Himeutsugi himself. Since a lot of people seem to have a low opinion or outright disliking Hime after playing Hime-hen.

        At least I have something to stave off boredom while waiting for Iroha-hen to be released…. someday. Even though it’s been announced for late 2016, I’m pretty sure it’s gonna get delayed again like all the previous HA installments.

        Ilinox responded:
        March 19, 2016 at 17:45

        You’re welcome! I didn’t know that Gekka had two project leaders either until I looked it up to confirm that it was Gekka |D;;

        I hope I’ll be able to get some Hime-hen posts out soon then! Unfortunately, he’s my least favorite among the Brights as well so I’m worried about how I’ll feel about him after this. My impressions of him from Mizuchi-hen were that he ends up trapped in a self-fulfilling prophecy ;;;; he keeps calling himself a princess and acting in that way, so of course he’s not going to break out of that!

        Haha, there hasn’t been any news on the HA front for a while. It’s been about KU-hen’s artbook and upcoming novel I think? As well as the karakuri CDs. I’m so stoked for the “coming soon” panel to change to the last volume though.

    Nope is here hello! said:
    March 16, 2016 at 12:49

    Kagiha, you’re such a creeper.

      Ilinox responded:
      March 17, 2016 at 04:31

      HE IS but conversely I felt even worse for him after seeing these scenes :( it’s just so… tragic. I always thought the way his and Beniyuri’s story was explained in the Best End to be neat and how it was about mutual forgiveness, moving on, and letting go of guilt and selfishness. But I didn’t realize how much selfishness plagued at Natsuki until now and it makes his actions of letting go in the other ends even more poignant.

    Reare Noella said:
    March 14, 2016 at 11:44

    Wheww… That was hell of a ride~ But really that anology for the treehouse song… lol… I can’t even comment due to laughing so hard right now.. XDDDDDDD those bullies are really lame, from using masculine way of speaking till this :’D

    DAT HUGGING CG THO.. ASDFGJKASDFGHJK I can’t breath, Monshiro why u so cute?!! Argghhh!!! Natsuki seems to get a lot creeper than ever and I really underestimate him, thinking he’s a naive boy… Oh mother of god, I’m just so confuse with this guy…

      Ilinox responded:
      March 17, 2016 at 04:28

      I had to look that phrase up because it was literally “sharing one umbrella” and I was like “How is that an insult??” until I realized what it actually meant. It’s kind of cute compared to our treehouse song but maybe I’ve just been conditioned to dislike it. BUT UGH SERIOUSLY I can’t stop rolling my eyes at the bullies (granted they’re kids).

      Oh man, I couldn’t help feeling so bad for Natsuki but also like “WOAH CALM DOWN DUDE”. It’s really interesting to see how much is revealed in Monshiro’s route though. Like, I understood the reasons as to why he acted the way he did in his route but you get to see how much he really degraded in these scenes and it’s so tragic.

        Reare Noella said:
        March 17, 2016 at 11:38

        Sometimes I don’t understand the real purpose about that song lol. But bullies will always be bullies, huh. Yeah, you’re not the only one rolling your eyes there. I always rolls my eyes everytime I see/hear bullies, be it real life or not (that sound so wrong lol).

        I mean I DO understand why Natsuki (seriously sometimes I got confused with thier real names and alias) became a little twisted guy (reminds me of Mejojo XD) so I can’t blame him anything since his… Like that. Monshiro’s route really shows Natsuki other sides…

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