Kankinkon ~ Higeki Hikaru ~

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Saijou Hikaru (西条 光)
CV: 三楽章

Confining Marriage ~ Tragedy ~

Lastly, here is Hikaru’s theme song. Reminder, I’ll be translating the song first and then the short drama track. The YouTube samples are Dusk’s official ones.

Remember, these are out of order.

*** TRACK 7: The Tragedy You Ended ***

停滞する時間と心臓
Time and my heart are at a standstill
幼い手は恐怖に震えた
My young hands trembled with terror
膝抱えて嗚咽を殺した夜は星もなくて
There are no stars on the nights I held my knees, stifling my sobs
終わりに向かうだけの路に
This road that only heads towards an end
歩く意味があるのか鏡に問いかけ
I asked the mirror if there was any meaning in walking it
返される自分の言葉に打ちのめされて
I was overwhelmed by my own reply
「もう進めない」と独り泣いた
“I can’t go on”, I cried alone

不意に差しこんだ光に目を細め
Suddenly, I squinted my eyes at the light which poured in
眩しすぎる笑顔に失われてた星が
The stars were lost in your radiant smile
心の中に蘇るのを感じた
I felt emotions revive in my heart
その刹那に「生きたい」
In that moment, “I want to live”
——強く願った
—I strongly wished this

朽ちてた道に鮮やかな花が咲き
Fresh flowers bloomed on the rotten road
声を出した
I spoke out
「——歩こう」
“—Let’s walk”
いつか鼓動が止まるまで
until this heart stops one day

愚劣な手で結んだ縁は、
This fate that was bound with stupid means,
仮初でも安らぎをくれた
gave me peace, even if it was fleeting
その儚さ、脆さに日々怯えつつ、
I was terrified daily of its transience and fragility
胸を押さえ
I pressed against my chest
笑みの裏に潜む狂気が溢れないよう
So that the lurking madness underneath my smile didn’t overflow
幾重もの嘘、重ねた
I lied over and over again

「これは君と生きる未来を築くため」
“This is to build a future of living with you”
——そう何度も呟き、目を逸らした
—I murmured that many times, averting my eyes

離れていく温もり、引き留められず
The departing warmth, I couldn’t hold it back
幸せそうな笑顔、ただ呆然と見てた。……口を閉ざして
I could only stare dumbly at that happy smile… I closed my mouth
黒い本音、滲みだす
steeping in my true dark feelings

大切だと信じた全てを壊し
I broke everything I believed to be precious
「憎まれたほうがマシだ」と、うそぶいた
Lied, saying “It’s better to be hated”
君の愛を諦め そばにいること 選んだ
I gave up on your love and chose to be at your side

恨まれて終わる人生に、幾度思いを馳せ、
I constantly think nostalgically about the end of this life, being hated
独り嗤っただろう
Something to laugh wryly about alone, right?
ついに別れの時、迎えて
Soon, the time came to greet our separation
桜舞う中、解放の言葉、風に乗せた
Among fluttering cherry blossoms, the words I released were carried on the wind

縮む距離が信じられず、目を開き
Unable to believe in our closing distance, my eyes widened
君が告げた愛の前で震えてた
I trembled in front of the love you confessed
夢を見てるようだと、伸ばされた手を恐れた
Believing this to be a dream, I’m terrified to reach my hand out

抱きしめられ、再び時、動き出す
I’m embraced and, once more, time starts to move
一人きりで見あげていた夜の月、意味を変えて輝く
The moon I looked up at alone changes meaning and shines

呪いは終わり、光へ——
The curse has ended and becomes light—

*** TRACK 6: The Person Saijou Hikaru Becomes ***

*walking*

Hikaru: The cherry blossom is flowering beautifully this year too. I wonder why I never get tired of looking at it every year.

H: Haha, you too? I remember the three of us viewing the blossoms every year underneath it, so maybe it feels like a special tree. *wind blows*

H: Kazuma, you… and me. Do you know how much those happy childhood years supported me? You probably don’t.

H: It was because I had you two that, even when my heart hurt, I could grit my teeth and endure it.

H: Even if I would die sooner or later, the feeling of wanting to be beside you two just a bit longer saved me countless times from the edge of death.

H: And yet… I hurt both of you with those stupid actions.

H: Now that I have a daughter, I feel this even more. It’s really hit home just how cruel I was then.

H: Hey, if I told you that even up to now sometimes I don’t feel like this is reality… would you be angry? Sometimes I feel uneasy, wondering if I actually died on the surgery table and this is just a happy reel of delusional memories.

[01:50]

H: *heroine hugs him* Ah! Haha, you’ve always shown your love with your whole body like this. Your compassion in comforting people… is something I take advantage of all the time, even more on top of having hurt you. *kisses*

H: Thank you for continuing to support someone like me. Being held by you, feeling your heartbeat, makes me realize that I’m actually alive today as well.

H: Hm? Ah, what’s wrong, you suddenly let go? Oh, now that you mention it, Kazuma and the others are about to arrive soon.

H: What? You still don’t want to be seen together by Kazuma? *heroine shakes head*

H: Then, it’s fine to be pressed up against each other like this. *hugs heroine* Besides, that couple unconsciously shows their affection all the time.

H: Yes, I’ve been jealous a lot of times. Unlike Kazuma, I’m a man with a small heart. I won’t forgive another man being in your heart for even one second. *kisses*

H: Do you have second thoughts… about wanting to run from a man like me? *heroine shakes head*

H: I see. Then you won’t mind if we kiss some more, right? *kisses*

[04:10]

H: Ah. Father is looking this way.

H: No, it’s not a joke. Look, it’s that window over there. Haha, it doesn’t matter, does it? Even my father is happier when we’re harmonious with each other.

H: Haha, silly, he won’t think you’re shameless. Father really likes seeing us happy.

H: … Father is probably overlaying what he wishes his relationship was like on top of ours. If that wasn’t the case, then he wouldn’t have said those things to you.

H: Remember? It’s what he said the other day. “Hikaru has become precisely the light of the Saijou Family after being loved by you. Thank you for releasing the curse.”

H: Hm? Ah, I don’t know the details either, but it seems my father believes the men of the Saijou Family are cursed.

H: Heh, it’s unlike my realist of a father, right? That’s why I’ve ended up thinking there must really be a curse. And it was ended by you.

H: Haha, yes, that’s right. You’re an amazing woman. It’d be nice if you acted even more proud. Haha, you’ll continue to be humble until death, huh. For you to be able to notice your real worth, even if it’s just a little bit, I’ll continue to praise you for being wonderful every day.

H: So that the light you brought will continue to be handed down into the far future.


Note1: I had to take liberty with Hikaru’s lines about dying on the surgery table. The word he uses is 走馬灯 which literally means “revolving lantern” but it’s part of a phrase about memories flashing before your eyes, like before you’re about to die. The reason this is significant is because Tamaki’s theme song uses this same word at the beginning.

4 thoughts on “Kankinkon ~ Higeki Hikaru ~

    niko3 said:
    February 4, 2021 at 00:49

    *tearing up* Hikaru is such a gentle soul underneath it all. Thank you, Touji’s heroine, for raising an inherently gentle and kind boy. ;__;

    I know this couple is more ‘low-key’ compared to the others, but I adore Hikaru and his heroine. I admire how strong Touji’s heroine is, but there’s also something about Hikaru’s heroine’s gentleness and kindness that I really like. I’m glad Hikaru has her. ;__;

    I know why Hikaru’s always comparing himself to Kazuma, but it’s funny how Hikaru doesn’t realize that he and Kazuma experience jealousy towards guys with their respective heroines with similar intensity. (I found my eyes opened to a glimpse of Kazuma’s “inner darkness” after listening to his 1st anniversary CD, like “Ahhh, there it is” lol)

      Ilinox responded:
      February 4, 2021 at 22:50

      He is, isn’t he? I like Hikaru and his heroine a lot too, although unfortunately they just get placed lower than the other couples that I like more… oops. But this doesn’t mean I don’t feel touched by his story! It’s so interesting because his character is pretty much a combination of Touji’s darkness but also Touji’s heroine’s light. Normally, I really dislike future generations of an OG pair but Dusk does it so well.

      I still stand by the belief that Hikaru’s heroine has always loved Hikaru, but she just felt like he was out of her reach and suffers from an insecurity complex. The three childhood friends are really just a group of insecure people, haha.

      SWEATS. I still haven’t listened to Kazuma’s anniversary for some reason, even though he brought me over onto the Mie Kanade wagon LOL. But oh gosh I love how Kazuma looks innocent on the surface, especially compared to the other Dusk guy, but he actually has a devastating streak of darkness (that gets really emphasized in his child, Shouma).

    n0tthatsurprised said:
    October 22, 2020 at 22:13

    wait…i’m a bit lost, where do i find the short drama track? do I have to buy it somewhere?

      Ilinox responded:
      October 23, 2020 at 21:06

      Yes, it comes with this volume. Same with the full version of the song, since the YT clip was just a sample.

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