Occultic Lovers ~ Shidzuki ~

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Shidzuki (熾月)
CV: Shimono Hiro (下野 紘)

Onmyouji Illusionary Night Records ~ Sleep in the Palm of my Hand ~

STORY

Shikigami, curses, divination.

These techniques to battle against things that are not human have been forgotten together with the change in times.

However, in the modern age, there have been people who continuously inherit these techniques. The Bureau of Onmyou. The descendants of the legendary onmyouji, Abe no Seimei.

Perhaps due to opposing revengeful ghosts, which cannot be defeated by human means, these present onmyoujis have distortions in them as humans.

Due to a certain incident, you learned of “their” existence of fighters against monsters every day. And that was the end of your ordinary life.

CHARACTER

“Show me it more clearly. You have such beautiful hair.”

An onmyouji who belongs to the Bureau of Onmyou (External Division of the Cabinet Office).

He’s a person who finds everything to be bothersome. In other words, “I’ll spare no effort in order to be able to relax.” For this reason, he shows a bizarre obsession about things he feels can be useful to him. It’s not only tools and shikigami, but even humans are no exception.

He uses a shikigami, called matagi, in the form of a rope braided with a woman’s hair.

In reality he’s intelligent, but because he finds it bothersome he doesn’t use his head much. As a result, he often makes the easiest choice and frequently gets wounded. Even so, that he manages to handle it is due to his excellence as an onmyouji.

Thank you to Lux for the commission! Oh god, excuse my notes but there are so many terms that I didn’t think I should translate because this whole series is about Japanese onmyouji.

Note1: In an extremely simplistic way, onmyouji can be thought of to be exorcists. But they actually do more than that and know more than that.

Note2: Depending on the media, shikigami can be many things, such as beings the onmyouji create as a representation of their power or they are spirits who are bound (or contracted) to the onmyouji to serve as their agents.

Here we go!

*** DISK 1 TRACK 1: A Face I’ve Seen Somewhere ***

*railroad crossing bell*

Shidzuki: Why are you here? *heroine startles*

S: What are you surprised for?

S: The person I was calling out to is none other than you. After all, you and I are the only humans here.

S: Hm? You have a face I’ve seen somewhere.

S: Oh, we’re in the same class?

S: My bad. I don’t have any special interest in you, so I didn’t notice immediately. Well, whatever about that.

S: Listen up, leave this place right now.

S: There’s been a traffic accident up ahead. The cars crashed into each other and there’s concerns that there’ll be a fire. It’s dangerous to get close.

S: That being the case, you should hurry up and leave this place if you understand. I’m not saying this to scare you or anything. The accident is going to be dealt with after this and a normal person will get in the way.

S: Me?

S: I’m staying behind. Because I’m not a normal human. Despite my appearances, I’m involved in this.

S: Come on, that’s enough, right? It’s going to get dangerous, so go back the way you came.

S: Huh? The police and fire department are on their way. The calls have been made, so it’s nothing for you to worry about.

S: *quiet* Jeez, you care about unrelated things.

[02:04]

S: Don’t add any more trouble for me.

S: Listen, this space right now is a space that normal humans shouldn’t enter. You don’t want to die, right?

S: Now what?

S: Hm? There’s a person in the railroad crossing?

S: You… can see that?

S: No, let’s talk about that later. Of all things, it had to happen when a normal person was here!

S: Look, act like you didn’t see that. Don’t care about it. It’s not a person. You also don’t need to worry about it.

S: NO BUTS! Don’t talk to it. Don’t look back. Hurry up and GO!

S: Save it? If that was possible, then this wouldn’t hap—*heroine walks towards it*

S: Stop! DON’T GO! *tackles heroine; train rushes through*

S: What are you doing!? DO YOU WANT TO DIE!? If I hadn’t stopped you, you’d be roadkill by now!

S: Person… Unfortunately, no, fortunately, a person wasn’t hit. Look again. Do you think that’s a human? Why is the thing you tried to save still standing calmly in the same place, in the railroad crossing, especially after the train passed through?

S: You’ve got a simple brain. Is there a person who’d be unhurt after being hit by a train? The reason that woman is unharmed is because that’s no longer a human.

[03:56]

S: Yeah, do you finally get it?

S: Tsk, but this is bad.

S: Because you moved to try and save that woman, that thing… a revengeful ghost might have woken up.

*ghost noises*

S: Tsk, I knew it. Fuck. If you hadn’t gotten in the way… That’s why I told you not to add any more trouble—*explosion* Ggh! The pavement’s gone flying. It’s coming down here!

S: GET DOWN! *covers heroine; rubble crashes* Nrgh!

S: Blood? Who cares about me. You? You aren’t hurt, right?

S: Hey, how about saying something? Don’t tell me you’re paralyzed? A spiritual disturbance, huh…

S: You can’t move, but your ears are working, right? Listen closely, I’m going to remove the curse on you and you should be able to move your body. But it’s temporary. After a while, you won’t be able to move again. Before that happens, you have to get away from here as fast as you can. Got it?

S: *casts spell* Providence of Flames, Protection of Suzaku¹, I command thee, purify this calamity with thy fire! *kisses*

S: Great, this is enough.

S: You can move, right? Run. AS HARD AS YOU CAN! *heroine runs; ghost noises; railroad crossing bell*

S: The next train is coming, huh. Jeez… trouble just keeps increasing. *ghost noises* Now then, what should I do?

*** DISK 1 TRACK 2: Become My Tool ***

*hospital heart monitor; footsteps*

S: Excuse me, nurse, I’m looking for the room of the girl I carried here this afternoon… Oh, here? Thank you very much. How is her condition? Her entire body is paralyzed? That’s a problem. Me? I’m just her classmate.

S: *slides curtain* Awake?

S: *closes curtain* It doesn’t look like you’re completely unable to move. That’s great. Can you speak? I see. Good then. If you can speak, our conversation will be quick. *sits in chair*

S: You remember me, right?

S: … Oh. You heard that I carried you to the hospital, right? If you had hit your head and forgotten everything, that would have been much more convenient for me.

S: Hm? What? Why are you staring at my face?

S: Ah, this injury on my face?

S: It’s stitched and nothing serious. You saw the strength of that revengeful ghost, right? It’s enough to not die.

[02:06]

S: It’s sudden, but let’s get to the point. It’s not like I came here out of worry for you.

S: You did something outrageous. Thanks to you, I didn’t catch that ghost.

S: If you hadn’t been there, I would have finished my job right then and there.

S: Yeah, a ghost. That’s the true form of the woman in the railroad crossing. The Bureau of Onmyou, which had sensed the appearance of that revengeful ghost, set up a barrier and sealed her body. I was commanded to deal with the ghost, being an onmyouji who lived nearby.

S: Don’t ask questions. You don’t have the right to speak. But… I’ll tell you the details of what happened after. I need to get you to feel responsible too, after all.

S: After you escaped, I fought that revengeful ghost and repelled her. However, I couldn’t destroy her.

S: The effects of the barrier ended. Because, in order to save a certain someone, I used up my time. As a result, the ghost ran away somewhere. Even now, it’s roaming around the city somewhere.

S: If she’s left alone, there’ll be casualties.

S: You get it, don’t you?

S: That’s right, it’s your fault. If things are left like this, then people will die because of you. That’s why I’m going to get you to cooperate with me. *gets out of chair*

[04:06]

S: Become my tool.

S: “I will obey Shidzuki”. Say that you will abide by those words. These words will be the verse that binds you.

S: Now, say it. Or do you want me to force you to say it?

S: Well, if you’re going to resist, then that would be amusing for me in its own way.

S: It’d be simple… The girl in front of me cannot move freely. Her voice is still very feeble. Even if I was a little bit rough with you right now… no one will find out, right?

S: You said it. That you would obey me—Shidzuki. With this, you can no longer go against my words.

S: Now then, I’ll fix that spiritual disturbance.

S: Bear with this. Even if I climbed on top of you, I’m not putting my weight on you, right?

S: Moving misfortune from the body of a target is the basics of being an onmyouji. I’m not straddling you because I want to either.

S: I will be rubbing this paper on you while chanting verses. I’ll be touching your body, but don’t make any strange noises. I don’t think anyone noticed things earlier but, in the worst case scenario and we’re discovered by the other patients… the one who’s going to be embarrassed is you.

[06:12]

S: Heh, you’re red to a hilarious degree.

S: Anyway… om̐ amogha vairocana mahāmudrā²—ngh, be quiet. Dammit, so annoying. Jeez, I only touched you a little.

S: Guess I have no choice but to use force. Alright, listen up. Shidzuki commands you, “Be silent”. *spell activates*

S: Great. You can’t speak at all, right? This is the power of soul words³. If you stay still, it’ll be over right away. So be good.

S: You don’t have to worry, I’ll be sure to remove it later. If you’re saying you still can’t bear with this then… I’ll bind, not just your voice, but your body too. So that, even if my hand touches your skin, you won’t be able to move a single finger.

S: If you don’t want that… then bear with this. I command thee, om̐ amogha vairocana mahāmudrā maṇipadma jvāla pravartāya hūm̐ oṃ huru huru caṇḍāli mātaṅgi svāhā oṃ huru huru caṇḍāli mātaṅgi svāhā⁴, I command thee!

[08:02]

S: Sleep in the palm of my hand. *casts spell*

*scene skip*

S: Hey, it’s done. How long are you going to sleep?

S: You can see revengeful ghosts and you react to verses to the point of losing consciousness. Looks like you have the constitution of a spirit medium. When I was touching you, you also reacted to everything oversensitively.

S: Anyway, I now know that you can be reasonably used as a pawn.

S: I’m going now. I’ll be putting you to work starting tomorrow, so be prepared. *slides curtains*

S: Hospital discharge? Don’t worry about that. The Bureau of Onmyou should arrange things so that you can leave the hospital tomorrow.

S: At any rate, you can’t go against my words. You’re my tool.

*** DISK 1 TRACK 3: Cruel Treatment ***

*heroine runs; opens door*

S: You finally came. You’re late. *heroine closes door*

S: You’re not going to say you didn’t know where the library was, right?

S: Jeez, you seem to be wondering why I called you here so early. It looks like you still don’t understand the severity of the situation.

S: I want to end things while there’s few people involved. Whatever, let’s begin. If there’s a commotion like yesterday, it’s just going to give me more trouble.

S: Didn’t you see the news this morning?

S: I give up, jeez.

S: After you escaped, the conductor of another train saw that thing. The train did an emergency brake and, naturally, the conductor thought they struck someone. But, far from a dead body, there wasn’t even any blood under the railway carriage. Thanks to that, the railway schedule was a huge mess.

S: Originally, this trouble was supposed to be settled before that happened… as long as you hadn’t come.

S: Whatever, you’ll understand in time, even if you don’t want to.

S: Now then, let’s start our ghost extermination. Yeah, something extremely serious about to start. Moreover, no matter what revengeful ghost I encounter, it’s a job I can never get out of.

[02:00]

S: … Straightforward document research.

*scene skip; printer noises*

S: For now, the years in the past doesn’t matter. Copy those and file them. After you get through the local history thumbnails you’re doing now, switch over to the national papers. The incidents that occurred on this land, the accidents, and anything suspicious should be included too. List everything.

S: What? Are you tired already?

S: You’re neglecting your work at hand. *comes over* You’ve been peeking over at me since earlier and you sigh a lot. It’s obvious your attention has been interrupted.

S: It’s natural there’s lots of tragic accidents. The articles I ordered you to gather are all things caused by the revengeful ghost.

S: That’s right. For example… *grabs article* this house fire just one year ago. The one that had a single death. The cause of this was the owner of the place. To be more precise, the owner and the woman he cheated on died; the result of turning into a revengeful ghost. The person he cheated on committed suicide and she stood beside the owner’s pillow night after night. Ultimately, the deranged owner set his house on fire. Or that’s what I heard.

[03:45]

S: Well, regarding all this, I don’t know how much of it is correct. There isn’t much information from police statements on incidents involving ghosts. Even so, if you want to bring out the worth of an article, then it’s easiest to follow the gossip.

S: After that, there’s this car accident two years ago. Three cars were involved, and the seven people in them died. The intersection at the scene has had repeated accidents since several weeks prior. Try going back in time. *heroine flips pages*

S: There. A single man died in a hit-and-run, right? He’s the cause.

S: Unable to accept his own death, he turned into a revengeful ghost and stayed in that place to throw his hate at the cars passing through every night. It didn’t matter whether or not that was the car that hit him. To him, all cars became his enemy. He held resentment towards the world, you see. After all, they’re revengeful ghosts. Logic and reason doesn’t work on them.

S: I’m well-informed about this because the one who disposed of him… was me.

S: When you get rid of ghosts, their thoughts work their way into you. If they’re left alone, the damage they cause will gradually magnify. That’s why I exterminated him.

S: It’s different from purifying them. I launch their soul out of the cycle of death and rebirth. To put it simply, revengeful ghosts who are exterminated do not have an afterlife.

[05:50]

S: Heh, yeah, there’s no doubt it’s a cruel treatment. There’s people who are obsessed with purification but… people who work under sympathy to purify them are idiots. This leads to carelessness and you’ll leave openings. There’s no meaning for the living to think only about the dead… to the point of driving themselves to the brink of death. Above all… it’s troublesome.

S: Now that I take a closer look, you… have beautiful hair. *strokes heroine* It looks perfect to be the material for a matagi. Ah, this is a matagi.

S: My shikigami. I use it during work. Some time ago, I cleared off the taint on you and used a spiritual paper, right? This is the same as that.

S: And matagis are made with the braided hair of women. It’s easier to use spiritual magic through the hair of girls.

S: If I used your hair to make a matagi, I think it’ll be extremely beautiful.

S: What? Aren’t you being a little too scared?

S: Hmm. That reminds me, even in the hospital, you had very innocent reactions. Well, to me, every single action was annoying… but this isn’t bad sometimes. After all… I rarely get the chance to touch the hair of a girl who’s still alive.

S: Don’t look so terrified. I don’t have any plans on using your hair like this or that right now. Making a matagi also takes a lot of time and labor. It also becomes consumed. So, I seldomly use it.

[08:18]

S: Yes. Other than situations like this, when a strange presence is approaching.

S: Listen carefully. *clock ticking*

S: Can you tell that the things we take for granted in this world are slowly disappearing? That’s right. Sounds are disappearing. We can’t hear the voices of people in the sports club or the sound of the wind against the window.

S: Because something… has woken up.

S: You understand without me telling you, right? It’s a revengeful ghost. But, even if we know that, what it wants to do… no one knows in this world. *clock stops*

S: The clock has stopped. Surprisingly, it might have suspended time…

S: ……

S: Earthquake!?

S: GET DOWN. UNDER THE DESK! *things crash*

S: It’s being so flashy. After it’s exterminated, we can’t just leave the school either. It should show its appearance soon. Stay still right now.

[10:08]

S: It’s settled? Hey, we’re going. *ghost noises*

S: You’re showing yourself at last, ghost. You made me wait a pretty long time, monster who built their nest in this library. It was hard trying to pass the time. I’m going to use you to get rid of my irritation.

S: *to heroine* Hm? Ah, right, my target from the beginning was that. The railroad crossing is a different matter.

S: Wait here. I’ll settle this immediately. *ghost roars*

S: *casts spell* Arrow of Flames, Breath of Suzaku, I command thee, purify this taint with thy immortal fire. *ghost disappears*

S: It’s done.

S: Jeez, if it had come out immediately, we could have ended it right away.

S: What? Did you lose all strength in your legs? Like that, you’re going to make me worry for the future.

S: That thing just now, I received a report that it only appears when a woman is around. That’s why I brought you here. Up until now, I didn’t make a move on it but I obtained a tool like you, so I decided to use you.

S: That being the case, I’m going to put you to use from now on too.

S: Because you’re my tool.

*** DISK 1 TRACK 4: Consideration for the Dead ***

*school bell rings*

S: What? You’re still loitering around here?

S: Classes are over and I don’t have a job for you. Go home and sleep. You’re my tool, so rest when you can rest and keep yourself in perfect condition. As you know, our job—*phone rings*

S: Hah… because we don’t know when we’ll be called. *answers phone* Yes, what? I see. Sounds like a clue. Tell me the details. Ah, sorry, before that…

S: *to heroine* Hey, no more going home. There’s been a development with our ghost case. What seems to be the remains of that woman have been identified. We’re going to be investigating that case now.

S: Hey, wait. Where are you going? We don’t have any more business at the library.

S: The research materials… will be at my house.

*scene skip; computer mouse clicking*

S: Three days ago, the body of a woman should have been discovered. Search for that incident on whatever news site.

S: The call just now was from another onmyouji. He’s someone who specializes in the technique of channeling, the ability to speak to the dead, and he’s investigating the case of the revengeful ghost in the railroad crossing at the same time as us.

S: It seems like he couldn’t speak directly to the ghost, but he ended up at the body the police were housing.

[02:10]

S: Hm? Found something?

S: Ah, this… Frozen to death on the streets and an excess amount of alcohol was detected in her body. In short, a drunkard passed out in an unnoticed street and fell into an eternal sleep. It’s not a surprising story… including how the body of a child who starved to death was discovered from her home.

S: Abandoning their own child… there are mothers like that everywhere. Honestly, everywhere.

S: As proof, this woman has been in the care of the police multiple times during this half year. Fooling around and walking around dead drunk, she must have been frequently taken in off the streets.

S: Ultimately, there was a late discovery… and that was all. She died in the end because of alcohol and, as a result, her child also died.

S: To put it mildly, she was trash.

S: The father? If he was known, he’d be swarmed by the media at this time. For there to be nothing at all means she didn’t have any relatives.

S: Don’t tell me… you’re sympathizing with this woman?

[04:05]

S: Haha, don’t make me laugh! There’s no way this woman loved her child.

S: No, I can declare that. This woman was a good-for-nothing person.

S: Ah, you’re right, she did raise her child. The death of a child this time was something like an accidental death, but whether she truly loved her own child is up for debate.

S: Take a look, her neighbors didn’t even seem to know this woman had a child. Far from that, even a birth registration wasn’t submitted to a government office. They were an unregistered child.

S: Yeah, maybe she had unimaginable circumstances. But are those excuses for the mess she made?

S: In the first place, for the word “love” to appear at all shows that you’re naive. Humans are living creatures who favor themselves the most.

S: Love… is nothing but a delusion for humans who are already satisfied. If it exists, then… it’s only in fiction.

S: When it comes to this woman, she had a grudge that was strong enough to turn her into a revengeful ghost. She couldn’t have been a decent person, right?

S: Whatever the truth was… it’s all already over. Even if you pity them, no one will come back to life. What we need to think about… is how to dispose of this mother who turned into a revengeful ghost.

S: Yes, I’ll be exterminating her.

S: That’s why we’re investigating her like this.

[06:04]

S: This sort of ghost… needs to be erased as soon as possible.

S: It’s better, even for a ghost like that, to be properly purified… Is that what you want to say? What use would that be?

S: Sorry, but I’m not going to spend the time and effort on such a pretense. I said it before, didn’t I? Prioritizing the dead over the living is idiotic. Or you can just die alone while holding that compassionate heart.

S: You can’t accept this?

S: Alright, then listen to this. “Don’t move”. *spell activates*

S: Relax, it’s the same binding as the one from before. I’ll remove it later.

S: Heh. What a stupid look. You can’t move your facial muscles either?

S: But you can move your line of sight, right? Ah, I can tell you’re surprised even with just the movement of your eyes.

S: That time, when you were bound, I was right beside you as an onmyouji. You were fortunate.

S: If I hadn’t been there, what do you think would have happened? Unable to move like this because of spiritual disturbance and there would be no one to save you. The revengeful ghost would be in front of you, but you wouldn’t be able to do anything but stand still.

[08:12]

S: Those things don’t act according to human logic, so I don’t know what they would do. If you died in one breath… that would be a blessing, wouldn’t it?

S: There’s many cases where that doesn’t happen. After all, most revengeful ghosts hate humans and the world.

S: It’d be natural for them to want to torture their prey to death, right?

S: … Still, you have beautiful hair. I’ve grown a bit interested. That reminds me, I already showed you my matagi, right? A woman’s hair is weaved within the rope and it’s possessed by a spirit. Have you heard that a woman’s hair contains magic? A woman’s hair… has a strange power like that concealed inside.

S: Touching it with my hand like this… when I observe it again… your hair… *inhales* really is beautiful. You can even say I desire this hair alone.

S: I wonder why? I sense something strange. By some chance… it might be connected to how your eyes can see revengeful ghosts.

S: Hm? Heh, your face is bright red. Oh! Even without moving, it’s natural your complexion can change. It’s literal.

[10:30]

S: Are you scared? While being unable to move at all, you don’t know what’s going to happen next.

S: I’m not a ghost so, of course, I won’t kill you. But it’s scary, isn’t it? Just from me touching your body and hair like this.

S: Even if they aren’t killed by revengeful ghosts, there are people whose spirits suffer just from experiencing this. If we let the ghost do whatever it pleases, the possibility of these victims appearing increases.

S: Do you understand now? The dead should need no consideration. No matter what sort of life they had when they were alive.

S: Heh, well, those who stay in this world in tears even after they’re dead… are nothing but indecent people.

S: Now then, your lesson is over. It’s time for me to remove your binding. I can do it informally, right?

S: I’ll consider your silence as agreement. Ah, you can’t talk. Oh well. *kisses; heroine collapses*

S: What? Didn’t you hate it when I touched your body in the hospital? That’s why I did it in a simple way. I returned to my own body the verse I sent out as a soul word with what I did just now. That’s the reason.

S: Now, the real moment is starting from here. We’re going to pinpoint the places the ghost could go, and then… we’re going to exterminate the ghost.

*** DISK 1 TRACK 5: No One Will Understand ***

*kids playing at park*

S: Now, according to my divination, the revengeful ghost should have drifted close to this park…

S: Ah, that noise? You can see it, can’t you? The ghost of children. Several of them too. They want to play even when they’re dead.

S: Haven’t you seen swings moving without anyone on them? In other words, that’s what this is.

S: Judging from their appearance, they haven’t realized that they’re dead. At any rate, they’re ghosts who are unrelated to this case. Ignore them.

S: I’m going to say this just in case, but don’t carry any strange compassion or pity. Your sympathy won’t be able to do anything.

S: Concentrate on finding that revengeful ghost right now.

S: You have an expression that says you don’t agree. *wind blows* Getting straight to business, huh…

S: Hey, are you ready? It looks like I don’t have time to let you run. So the only thing you have to do is not get in my way.

S: *pulls out matagi* It’s coming. *ghost noises*

S: Last time it was pavement and this time it’s trees? That’s a useless struggle. *casts spell* Arrow of Flames, Breath of Suzaku, I command thee, purify this taint with thy immortal fire. *ghost roars*

[02:04]

S: Ggh, your life is already over but you’re still holding onto this obsession. Don’t make me go through too much trouble! *casts spell* Arrow of Flames, Breath of Suzaku—*children giggling; heroine runs over*

S: HEY! What are you doing!? Who cares about them! They’re already dead! *ghost roars*

S: ARE YOU STUPID!? *tackles heroine* I told you not to care about them, right?! DO YOU WANT TO DIE!? Fuck, at this rate the ghost is going to—*ghost pauses*

S: … Huh? The revengeful ghost stopped moving? What?

S: Gngh, it’s not the time to think about that. *casts spell* Arrow of Flames, Breath of Suzaku, I command thee, purify this taint with thy immortal fire. *ghost disappears*

*children continue playing*

S: … Hey, it’s over.

S: Yeah, as you wished, the ghost children are safe too. If you can say that they’re safe though… for things that are already dead to continue existing.

S: Ugh, I’m exhausted. I used too much energy. Plus… hey, lend me your shoulder.

[04:00]

S: Oh, I’m counting on you to get me to that bench there.

S: *sits down* Haa…

S: Maybe it was our distance… but your disturbance when you’re paralyzed seems to have struck me too, ngh. I’ll be able to move after a while. Until then, let me rest.

S: Hey… when you were paralyzed, did you feel anything? That woman’s… emotions or something.

S: When they’re exorcized, I mentioned that the thoughts of revengeful ghosts can come into you, right? When you’re struck, the same thing can happen.

S: Did you… feel anything?

S: I see.

S: Generally, most of them are mad with anger for no reason or they hate something. They simply have an intense emotion. Depending on the case, when you’re struck, there’s also people who go mad because of the strength of those emotions.

[05:52]

S: The moment that woman disappeared… her thoughts and emotions flowed into me.

S: How was it…?

S: I don’t know. There were emotions. She had strong feelings for something… but the meaning of the thoughts that reached me… are things I don’t understand. There was no… hatred. Same with anger.

S: At the very least, she… didn’t hate anyone. If I had to say something, she felt loneliness, sadness… and gentleness, no, it’s useless. In the end, I don’t understand. And then, she was searching for someone.

S: Her child…? Ah, I see. She didn’t know that her own child died, huh. She hated the child that became a burden on her and wanted to kill them?

S: Heh, what? No way, are you trying to tell me she was just worried about her child and became a wandering ghost? Unfortunately, I don’t think that was the case. Besides, that logic can’t explain her actions when she was alive, right?

[08:04]

S: Love for a child is illogical? Heh. What a naive mind.

S: … Go back first. I’m going to stay here for a while. Or do you feel like staying here until I can move?

S: Do whatever you want.

S: Love for one’s child… huh.

S: Who knows. She’s exterminated, so we can’t summon her and ask anymore.

S: The true side of the mother… what she was thinking… no one will ever understand.

*** DISK 2 TRACK 1: Uncharacteristic ***

*school bell rings; scene skip*

S: Sorry for calling you to the school rooftop.

S: I can’t talk about the disturbing matter of the ghost mother in the classroom though, right?

S: You’re acting too shocked. Is it that amazing for me to apologize?

S: That reminds me, when I called out to you in the classroom, you were also surprised. Well, that’s true, it was the first time I called out to you in the classroom. Plus, it’s been several days… since I spoke to you directly. Ever since the park matter.

S: Have you been stuck on that? I told you, no one will ever understand now what that mother was truly thinking. It’s useless to worry over that.

S: … I’m sorry.

S: I didn’t need to tell you all that. It would have been better if I kept it locked in my own heart.

S: That’s rude. Even I’ll apologize if I feel like I did something wrong.

S: It’s uncharacteristic?

S: Well… that might be true.

[02:06]

S: Ah, right, I have business. Our conversation wandered off. How are things after that?

S: You’re pretty clueless. I’m talking about your spiritual disturbance. Did you feel anything bad about your body after that?

S: You don’t really know? That’s a problem then.

S: Yeah, that’s right, I’m worried about you. If there’s no maintenance, then a tool will be damaged before long. It’s troublesome, but I have to do these things properly. I’m going to touch you. Don’t move.

S: Hey, I told you not to move! It’s something like palpation. It’s the same as what I did at the hospital. Or, like before, do you want your body to be paralyzed by soul words?

S: Good. The basics of an onmyouji exorcism is to first start from the stain or taint—well, think of them as the body of a curse—and to move it out. They can use spiritual paper, their own body, or a shikigami if not the others. There are many methods but it’s all the same with touching the body and moving the taint.

S: Once it’s moved out, measures are taken on the target. Matagi… *pulls it out* This time, this thing is going to take the place of a talisman. This thing can extract stains, taint, or anything stuck on you. It takes a lot of concentration to use this thing, so be quiet.

S: *exhales* Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, zai, zen⁵, rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, zai, zen, I command thee!

[04:26]

S: Well? Your body became lighter, didn’t it?

S: Right now, you just answered casually, didn’t you?

S: I’m right on the mark. At the very least, you didn’t feel a spiritual disturbance to a degree that changed your health. Well, I know you’re saying that out of consideration but… hey, has anyone said you’re too good-natured?

S: It’s natural for me to ask this. To me, you look like a simple soul. You move instantly for someone who’s already dead. To be honest… that really helped at the time. The revengeful ghost’s movements stopped, right? That’s why I was able to bring them down.

S: You must have experienced that ghost’s power firsthand. In addition to paralyzing you it struck me on the head. Generally, exterminating revengeful ghosts puts your life on the line. It’s true that, at the time, things were on our side but if we continued to fight like that there was no guarantee I’d win.

S: That’s why you helped. I’ll give you my thanks. It’s nothing but hindsight-based opinion that you created an opening in the ghost, but even still…

S: Now then, that’s all for today. I’m heading off. We’re going to resume the work of an onmyouji starting tomorrow.

S: Come to the station tomorrow at noon. Yes, it’s a holiday but what about that? The dead don’t care about Saturdays.

S: Yeah, we’re going to exterminate ghosts.

*** DISK 2 TRACK 2: Out-of-Place ***

*heroine runs over*

S: You’re here.

S: Oh? So that’s what you wear when you’re in casual clothes. That reminds me, this is the first time we’re meeting on a holiday.

S: Shut up. Leave it alone about how I’m wearing the school uniform. I spend most of my time as a student, so I only have my uniforms to do exorcisms in.

S: Well, it’s not just that… It’s annoying to have to pick out clothes to buy, right? I don’t have an interest in spending effort on useless things. Spending hours picking out clothes… isn’t that a bother?

S: What are you saying? It’s not like it’s a problem, right? A student wearing a school uniform won’t stand out. If the times where we walk together like this increase then, well, I’ll consider it.

S: Come on, let’s go.

[01:42] *scene skip*

S: *drinks* Walking here and there makes a person thirsty, huh. Now then, where should we go next? Things are basically fine for today. Hey, if it were a bookstore or clothing store, which one do you want to go to?

S: Hm? What? I’m not going to give you this even if you look at me with such greedy eyes. I bought a drink for you too, didn’t I?

S: What are we doing…? Well, from the view of an outsider, isn’t this a date?

S: Ngh! Why are you choking? Aah, you spilled your juice. Do you have anything to wipe with? No? Well, I do have something so far as it goes but… I guess, in the first place, it’s just a piece of paper. Jeez, this is the first time I’m using a spiritual paper for something like this.

S: Here, your collar is wet. I’ll wipe it so come closer.

S: … Ggh, stop moving. What are you acting like this for at this point in time? We’ve done even further things.

S: Hm, you spilled quite a bit. But why did you suddenly start choking?

S: Date? Oh, I did say that. So? If two high school students are walking around, isn’t that what it looks like?

S: I’m properly performing my duties as an onmyouji like this. Yeah, ghost extermination. To be more precise, I’m walking around to see if there’s any revengeful ghosts that should be exterminated. Patrolling.

[03:50]

S: In addition, one important part of an onmyouji’s duties is to maintain barriers. Onmyouji places barriers all over the place to counteract revengeful ghosts. I’m checking to see whether or not those barriers are coming apart along the way. That’s why we’re walking around here and there.

S: Yes, it’ll be more efficient if we split up, but what are you going to do if a barrier is coming apart? If a supernatural barrier is tearing, then there’s a supernatural reason. For example, a revengeful ghost.

S: You won’t be able to deal with that. Come on, this is enough, right?

S: Well? Which one do you want to go to?

S: You want to go to a clothing store last…? Alright. Let’s go to the next place then.

*scene skip*

S: Hey… you haven’t forgotten what we’re doing, right?

S: That’s right. Ghost extermination! We didn’t come to buy clothes, and why are you rummaging through the men’s corner!?

S: Do I look like a pervert who wears women’s clothing?! Hold on, why are we acting like it’s natural for you to choose my clothes?

S: It’s true I was the one who said we look like we’re on a date from the view of an outsider, but why is there a need to act like it’s a real date!?

[05:50]

S: I look disagreeable…? Because I actually dislike this. It’s Saturday too, so there’s a lot of people. Most of them are with someone they brought and, above all, those people seem to be enjoying themselves.

S: I’m not used to this atmosphere. I feel like I’m terribly out-of-place. I wonder why? Well, it’s not like I don’t have an idea.

S: If I hadn’t become an onmyouji, then maybe I would have been someone who could enjoy places like these too.

S: Wait, why am I talking about this? Anyway, I’ve already confirmed the security of this place so, for today, let’s hurry up and—

S: Huh? Try on these clothes? Hey, are you listening to me—

S: Uh… it does match my tastes. But how did you know!? To be honest, that’s a little creepy.

S: Don’t tell me my thoughts flowed into you on the rooftop yesterday?

S: Hey, did you nod just now? Quit it with jokes that aren’t funny. It’s not something that happens so easily!

S: *to himself* No… but I did touch you spiritually and physically. It’s not impossible—

S: Now what!? No, I’m not telling you to apologize. More importantly, the matter about my tastes being discovered. What really happened? Where did you get—

S: Ugh, alright, I’ll wear this. But, in exchange, you have to tell me what really happened. Grgh, jeez…

[08:32] *scene skip; walking on streets*

S: Hey, why are you grinning? It’s so annoying. Are you still stuck on that clothing store? Was my face at the time that funny?

S: I told you, didn’t I? That I’m simply not used to that. Of course my expression would be stiff and I’d look troubled. Ugh, you sure dragged me around today. As a result, I ended up having to try on all sorts of clothes.

S: Well… it annoys me to say this but… it was kind of fun. Thanks to you. It’s something I normally don’t experience.

S: Hey, don’t get ahead of yourself. If the same thing happens next time, then I’m going to use soul words to force you to listen to me.

S: What? Should I have ended things by force?

S: Yeah, before, I would have done that without letting you say anything. I thought about a lot of things because of the previous case… Anyway, what actually happened?

S: Don’t play innocent. You knew my interests, didn’t you? Do you have an affinity with my spiritual powers or do you simply have good intuition? Which is it?

S: Well, I thought it was that. Oh right, you did come to my place once. But knowing my interests just from that… girls really are intuitive.

[10:44]

S: Still, thanks to you, we used up more time than I expected. It’s already night.

S: … It might be strange for me to say this, but won’t your parents get angry?

S: Huh? They’re on a trip? They left you behind alone?!

S: No, well… you’re trusted, huh. Should I say you and your parents get along well?

S: Parents, huh…

S: Me? I don’t have parents. They left me when I was young… through suicide.

S: I wonder what number that makes you to have said those words to me? It’s impossible to summon their spirits. My mother’s soul was exterminated.

S: There’s no doubt. Because I was the one who exorcized her.

S: Do you know about demon familiars⁶?

S: It’s the use of possessed beings to steal fortunes from other people. The use of that gets you extremely discriminated against in the land.

S: Of course, people who actually have that power aren’t that common. Even now, it’s questionable how many people actually believe in things like curses. But customs are troublesome, right?

[12:46]

S: So, discrimination still remains. Maybe it was good that my father was gone. It was a land with deep-seated old values… and in order to escape the unreasonable discrimination that remained my mother took me out of the village.

S: My powers as an onmyouji awakened soon after that.

S: I didn’t have a father, you see. Naturally, while my mother was out working, I played alone a lot. One time, I discovered the samurai servant⁷ I made out of origami moved on its own will. I made a paper doll for purification rites, unknowingly.

S: Of course, I confidently showed this to my mother.

S: My mother committed suicide the next day. The day she turned into a revengeful ghost and appeared in front of me was also at that time. That was the first day I saw the thing called a revengeful ghost, and… and it was the day I did my first job as an onmyouji.

[14:22]

S: I was about to be killed by my mother’s revengeful ghost and, miraculously, I exorcized her.

S: Incidentally, my first experience of a revengeful ghost’s thoughts flowing into you was also at that time. To her… how much of a burden her son was and how much she hated him… I understood it clearly.

S: I wonder. Telling someone this… come to think of it, it’s my first time. I might just be trying to hide my embarrassment. *quiet* Because I really did have fun. Also… if I reveal everything to you, I thought I might understand the identity of these emotions…

S: No, it’s nothing. More importantly—*heroine collapses on him* H-hey, what’s wrong? Get a hold of yourself. Your complexion looks bad. Is it because of what I said?

S: No? Then why are you suddenly… This is as if…! No, it really is that!? Shit, did you lapse again!? It’s your spiritual disturbance.

*** DISK 2 TRACK 3: Meaning of Emotions ***

S: *muffled* Hey, can you hear me?

S: Hey! *heroine wakes up*

S: You’re conscious.

S: Yeah, it’s your place. Sorry, but I came in on my own. I wasn’t sure if I should just let you sleep in those clothes, but I decided lying you down was the first priority.

S: Hey, how about saying something?

S: I don’t remember saying “Be quiet”. I went out of my way to carry you here. Shouldn’t you at least say thanks?

S: I see. You can’t talk anymore? Earlier, I tried to clear your spiritual disturbance with my matagi and I couldn’t believe I failed, but… just like I thought, it looks like you were affected by a pretty strong spirit.

S: Looks like I have no choice. This isn’t my expertise but…

S: Hey, lie down firmly and show me your forehead. I’m not going to do anything weird. Be quiet and obey me.

S: I’m going to transfer our thoughts. Maybe it’d be easier to understand if I said telepathy. When we were exterminating the revengeful ghost, the phenomenon I experienced… happened between us on purpose.

S: This isn’t my expertise, so if we aren’t touching foreheads then I can’t establish a link. Alright?

S: Think about your own condition. It’s okay to think about talking to me normally. Come on.

S: No, look, I understand our faces are close but what I want to know is your condition.

[02:16]

S: Embarrassing…? Is now the time to think that!? Did the spiritual disturbance affect your brain?

S: You feel chilled and exhausted? When I just hear that… it’s a cold. While we’re at this, does your throat feel swollen?

S: Hm… did the spiritual disturbance of the ghost from last time finally appear? Or…

S: It’s alright, even if I’m wrong, you’re not going to die like this. If it’s left alone, it’ll settle on its own. Relax. In the Bureau of Onmyou, there are people who specialize in this. Just in case, I’ll call them over.

S: What? Do you feel a bit calmer after hearing that?

S: Mm, I see.

S: Yeah, I’m worried about you. Surprisingly enough.

S: … I guess it was my fault for making you patrol with me. At the beginning, when I took you to the hospital, I was really annoyed. Because an ordinary person got in the way of my work.

S: Not to mention, my opponent was that. Because of my failure, there might have been many victims. That’s why, mostly through the course of these events, I got you involved in ghost extermination when you only have a little bit of an ability to sense the supernatural.

[04:14]

S: I thought I was going to use you, at most, as a tool that had arms and legs.

S: In truth, after exterminating that revengeful ghost, I considered removing the spell I put on you. Fundamentally, you’re a burden, you see.

S: But… I couldn’t bring myself to do it. There was also the fact that I exorcized the ghost thanks to you. Also… I wanted to spend some more time with you.

S: The meaning of these emotions… it’s impossible for me not to know them. But accepting them… Let’s see… it’s frustrating. My mother didn’t leave her hometown for me… it was for herself.

S: Her suicide… was also to free herself from her suffering. Humans… are living creatures who favor themselves the most.

S: I’ve lived believing that all this time. However, during that incident… in the end, the truth was close to what you thought. Of all things, you did something like stretching yourself over the dead. The philosophy I had up until then was shaken by a single girl I suddenly met… so of course I’d be frustrated, right?

[06:30]

S: Now then… I spoke too much about pointless things, didn’t I? *pulls away*

S: If we stay pressed against each other like this, then I’ll end up knowing your feelings without your conscious will. I don’t want that.

S: Well then, I’ll go call for an expert in spiritual disturbances! Apparently, that guy is better at curses but—*phone rings* Hm? From the Bureau of Onmyou?

S: *answers phone* Hello, right now I’m—… Sorry, but I’m busy over here. Move some other onmyouji. I’m protecting an ordinary person who’s suffering spiritual disturbance. It’s dangerous if I leave. You can’t do that…? Impossible. Or is there a reason it has to be me?… You’re kidding. Uh, no… Got it. I’ll handle it. Tell me the location. Mm. Later. *ends call*

S: Sorry, but I have to go.

S: Don’t look like that. I said it just now, didn’t I? It’s probably not something that’ll kill me. It looks like… I have to go no matter what.

S: The identity of the revengeful ghost that suddenly appeared… seems… to be the child of the woman we exorcized yesterday.

*** DISK 2 TRACK 4: Stupid Stubbornness ***

*door opens*

S: What? You can stand already? What about your voice?

S: I see. You’ve gotten a lot better. I’m glad then. *closes door; comes over*

S: Sorry, let me sit on the bed.

S: … You’re sharp. Yeah, I failed to kill them. If they had come at me with an honest intention to kill, then I could have fought back but… they ran and I couldn’t do anything.

S: The identity of the revengeful ghost is definitely that woman’s child. Things that can affect the spirit aren’t limited to ghosts, and it’s more common with humans that have a bond with them. The bond between you and that child is now more than enough.

S: That’s right, I’m going to exterminate them. The same as what I did to their mother’s ghost. Although, this time, they ran away many times without fighting, revengeful ghosts are beings where we don’t know what they’ll do. I don’t have the leisure to honestly purify them.

S: Moreover, if the revengeful ghost of the child is the cause of your spiritual disturbance, then after I exorcize them you’ll recover quicker to how you were before.

[01:58]

S: You look unhappy. In the end, they’re dead. You don’t need to care about them. The living are always prioritized over the dead. No matter what the situation is.

S: You’ll be okay…? Don’t be ridiculous. You’re stubborn… seriously. You don’t understand anything!

S: Okay, listen up, “don’t move”. *spell activates*

S: I suppose when it’s the second time, you won’t look scared any more. That’s a bit of a shame. If our foreheads are close like this, then I can understand your thoughts.

S: You truly and seriously want them to be purified.

S: Certainly, it’s a sad thing because they’re a child. But revengeful ghosts are revengeful ghosts. They’re already dead humans! Even if that kid’s soul is exterminated, who would feel sad for them? Who would cry for them?

S: The only being that might have… is no longer… even in that world.

S: You’re wrong on that point! Even when you’re sick like this, there must be lots of people who would be sad for you.

S: … No, that’s not it. The reason I’m fixated on extermination is… not because of that. It’s because I’m not a good person. If, by any chance, you were to die… I’ll be miserable.

[04:12]

S: I want to save you. This is my selfish wish. That’s why I’m not going to listen to your opinion. It might be a sin to erase a single human’s soul, but if it can ease even just a little bit of your pain quicker then… I’ll do that. Even if it’ll result in you hating me.

S: I’ll release the verse. “Move”. *kisses*

S: What’s wrong? You can move now.

S: Reject me. If you don’t… I won’t stop. Or… are you trying to pay back the debt of being saved? If that’s the case… then I’m a pitiable person. *kisses*

S: … With the exception of charms, this is the first time I’ve kissed someone. I’m not a good person who can live for someone else’s sake. There’s no such thing as love. Even if it did exist… it’s just a delusion for those who are satisfied. Thinking this… is how I’ve always lived.

[06:10]

S: Now that I think on it… it was a stupid stubbornness, huh. I have an idea of why I ended up having these feelings for you. But it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s an insignificant question. I’m sure this sort of thing isn’t logical.

S: If I can feel you like this… if I can be filled with these emotions… then I don’t care whether it’s a delusion or hallucination. *kisses*

S: Your body is stiff. If you’re going to accept this at any rate, then respond to me more. *kisses*

S: You don’t like your ears being kissed? I’ve chanted many verses beside your ears, haven’t I? *kisses*

S: Beautiful… Show me it more clearly. You have such beautiful hair. *inhales*

S: Magic dwells in a girl’s hair. Maybe… from the start, I was drawn by this hair. *kisses*

*** DISK 2 TRACK 5: Words I Avoided ***

S: How is your body? It should feel more comfortable than before.

S: The basics of an onmyouji is to move the taint first, followed by purifying it. I touched you that much. So the taint at the source of your spiritual disturbance is mostly in me, ngh…

S: Ggh… I’ve experienced this degree of spiritual disturbance tons of times. It’s nothing to worry about.

S: Hey, don’t thank me. Rather, you should be angry. Because I did all that.

S: Well then, I’m going.

S: It’s obvious, isn’t it? I’m going to exterminate the ghost.

S: I already told you, I’m not listening to your opinion. I’m leaving.

S: Are you going to stop me by force? Give up. You don’t want to be paralyzed by soul words again, right?

S: Good.

S: … If I don’t die in this ghost extermination, then I should go to school tomorrow as normal. You’re also completely recovered from your spiritual disturbance, right? If… you’ll accept what I did today, then be the one to call out to me. If I have no chance… then please don’t talk to me.

[02:20]

S: Like that, we’ll return to being classmates who don’t remember each other’s names clearly and have no interactions.

S: Yeah, we’ll return to each of our daily lives.

S: Oh right, there is a risk I might die so… let me say this at least. I’m happy you stopped me out of worry. Thank you.

S: What? Is there anything else—huh? *heroine collapses* WHAT’S WRONG!?

S: Your breathing is rough. Stay with me. HEY! Shit! You can’t hear me!? *hugs heroine* Did the spiritual disturbance worsen? No, that’s impossible. This isn’t at that level.

S: No way… did the revengeful ghost… possess you!? *ghost roars, attacks*

S: *hits wall* Gagh!

S: *coughing* Shit, I dropped my guard. Of all things, it’s fucking you? I was thinking about purifying you, but now it seems impossible.

S: *pulls out matagi* I command thee, Providence of Flames, Protection of Suzaku—*objects get thrown* Ngh! Breaking whatever things you want…! That’s a child’s tantrum.

S: I command—*coughing; gets attacked* GUGH!

[04:16]

S: Fuck, it won’t stop at mantras… ngh, maybe it wasn’t a good idea to transfer the taint… It’s a little late now though, gngh.

S: I can’t raise my arm, huh. Haa… hagh… I can’t even use hand seals, there’s nothing else I can do.

S: … Am I going to die here? Hah… although she’s possessed, I’m going to be killed by the girl I love. Haha, what the hell, that’s a pretty cool ending. *coughing* Ggh…

S: But that’s also unbearable. Am I also going to become a wandering ghost? Like my mother… gngh…

S: Can you hear me? No, if you’re possessed, maybe you can’t tell. Earlier, I was scared of your answer, so there were words I avoided on purpose. *crawls over*

S: I… I love you! *ghost growls*

[06:00]

S: Oh right, while this thing’s here… Bastard, there’s something I have to tell you. Your mother… certainly loved you!

*ghost ascends; heroine collapses*

S: … Haah… did it leave? *coughing* In the end, you were right about everything. Dammit… hah… haa… I’m so lame.

*** DISK 2 TRACK 6: Illogical ***

*hospital heart monitor; heroine pulls curtains, closes curtains, sits*

S: ……

S: *heroine claps* Wah!? Don’t surprise me! I’m a patient over here!

S: Hold on, you heard I have pretty serious injuries, right? Someone like that was sleeping, so what do you mean by waking them up?

S: I was pretending to be asleep? Where’s your proof?

S: N-not possible… for my face to turn red when you came… Dammit, that’s humiliating.

S: The reason? I don’t know what expression to have when I’m talking to you. At any rate, if I pretended to be asleep, then I thought I could get past that.

S: Naturally! I did all those things and plus… I told you to call out to me at school. Yet right now I’m like this. In the end, I didn’t protect you from the ghost of the child, transferring the taint backfired, and there was a tough fight where I nearly died. Furthermore, at the end, just like you wished, the child’s ghost was purified.

[02:08]

S: Nothing good happened at all. Besides… to be honest… I didn’t think you’d come.

S: That parent and child’s souls don’t exist in this world anymore. And, from the start, you were a normal human. For a while, you might see some spiritual things but that power will soon disappear.

S: … So long as you don’t get involved with them… and people like me.

S: Hey… do you have memories from when you were possessed?

S: Oh. Then… you heard some pretty embarrassing words, right?

S: It’s like I said at that time. You must have noticed by now even if I don’t say it, right?

S: I… love you.

S: I was terrified all this time to say it. If I said it, I’d surely… end up hearing what you think about me.

[03:58]

S: I want to stay at your side. But my wish… will bring you misfortune.

S: Your once peaceful days… will go away from you. That’s why—woah, what are you—mmph! *heroine kisses him*

S: A-are you sure?

S: … Heh. You’re right. This sort of thing… is illogical, huh. *kisses*

*** DISK 2 TRACK 7: Cast Free Talk ***

Hiro: *whispers* Hello, this is Shimono Hiro. Anyway…

H: *normal voice* I, Shimono Hiro, was given the role of Shiduzki. Yes… hello, this is Shimono Hiro. I’ve said it many times, huh. Anyway, at this point, the recording has just finished. I’m sure you listened to both disks, right? Right? Did you also listen to the bonus tracks? Thank you very much!

H: That being said, I’ve been asked about my impression after completing the recording, and, well, this time I got to do “Sleep in the Palm of my Hand”, a story about onmyouji. I was given the role of a cool onmyouji to act. How do I put this, it was pretty difficult. Um, onmyoujis have to do those spells… To tell the truth, there were parts where I didn’t know what I was saying myself. There was a part where I just went along with the flow.

H: Hm, but there some pretty serious developments and, story-wise too, it became quite sad. When I was reading it myself, the scenario this time was… well, things like precise reasons or causes weren’t made clear. So, it makes you think, doesn’t it?

H: Even if you call this a role, for me personally… um, how do I put this, I’m going to end up saying most of this at the next radio talk. Mm, things about onmyouji and things about vengeful ghosts. From the start, I’ve liked the occult and supernatural things since I was small. There were influences from my father and from manga, like onmyouji and exorcist stories that I read often.

H: In that, how do I put this, it’s going to become a talk about the fantastical from here but, personally, I believe the circle of reincarnation exists so, in the end, when something’s become a vengeful ghost and exorcised, not purified, but its existence itself is exterminated it really makes me feel pained the more I think about it.

[03:18]

H: For example, no matter what you become—humans, animals, and many other things—if you aren’t able to be reborn and become nothingness that’s really scary. The story this time really made me, personally, experience that. Mm, I really felt it.

H: In addition, I’m going to assume you’ve listened to everything here, but this time the mother became a vengeful ghost and was exterminated while, on the other hand, the child was purified. But, in the end, no matter what happens, that parent and child will never meet again and, when I think about that, I feel really distressed.

H: I was acting out my role, but I ended up thinking that Shidzuki was really cruel. For some reason, that emotion was really strong so it might have become unnecessarily serious.

H: Yeah, it’s an otome drama CD, but somehow when the romantic elements were proceeding I felt a little bit of a resistance. The earlier stuff wouldn’t leave my head at all.

H: Well, it’s a story, right? In reality, these might not exist. Mhm. So, that’s what I was thinking while I was acting and, listening to this, I’d be pleased if you could hear it and feel it somewhere.

[05:08]

H: Honestly, I have to apologize to the staff for something this time. This onmyouji and occult stuff, I think it was a failure to cast me for this. I’m really sorry! I don’t know how much of this will get in, but in this free talk I will talk as much as I can.

H: Um, it looks like I’ve already passed 5 minutes. There’s a chance things might get cut, but I’ll still keep on talking! There’s still topics after all.

H: Let’s see, yeah, let’s go with a light one. There’s a question about if I have an ability to sense the supernatural. Right, hm, there were a lot of things that happened when I was small which made it seem like I might have had something to a certain extent. There’s been many times where I talked about these things. But, well, there were things like hearing someone’s voice when nothing was there—no, being awake, or thinking I’m awake, but hearing someone’s sleeping voice.

H: There were also strange experiences where I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming or awake. Also, recently, I still don’t actually know what happened but I went to a certain place for a recording and did something like a test of courage. After that test of courage was over, I had to do the recording at a different place, like a video, and various things happened where people were acting a bit strange.

H: Incidentally, in the middle of recording this drama CD, we took a break and my left shoulder seemed to feel a little heavy. There was also a ringing in my ears, like chirping. That’s all I want to say. What was it in the end that was clinging onto Shimono-san? What was it that came into this recording, what was it in the studio? *whispers* That I don’t know. Hehehe.

[07:18]

H: Anyway! There are still topics! I can keep on talking! What kind of image do I have of onmyouji? You’re going to ask this? You’re really going to ask this? Well, just like I’ve said up to now, Shimono-san loves occultic stuff, so I want to believe things like onmyouji exist. I believe in things like vengeful ghosts.

H: But, well, I have information that makes me believe onmyouji actually exist. In regard to the information, I just heard it from someone. I don’t actually know, but a friend of a friend is apparently an onmyouji. From what I’ve heard from my friend, at the beginning, they were just drinking buddies and talked over drinks. Then, somehow, it became that sort of atmosphere and, after getting them to do divination, the conversation turned to how they were actually an onmyouji.

H: Mhm, apparently they really just met over drinks and my friend didn’t know their name or address. But they exchanged contact information and phone numbers. Some time later, there was something my friend needed them to investigate so they got that person’s address, or well an unofficial address, and they weren’t told the person’s actual address. When they got there, they brought that person to the place and, well, that person was apparently wearing sunglasses the entire time.

H: Mm, they were wearing sunglasses the whole time and the place they lived was just a normal apartment, apparently. The image of onmyouji are like places with temples and things and, even for me, that image is strong. But, as you’d expect, in their room there was apparently a room they couldn’t enter. I also heard there were various spell-like things placed around. Haha, whether it’s the truth or a lie, I don’t know.

[09:34]

H: I don’t know but, well, they asked them various things, when they were getting a divination, my friend commented on how the person wouldn’t give their name at all. First, they wouldn’t say their full name and, after asking the person themself, the name they used in and of itself was an alias.

H: Anyway, it’s easy to see they had a lot of hidden things going on. Apparently, they did onmyouji stuff and things like curses, when you touch them, can use anything. For example, a name, your address, your face, and I also heard things like fingerprints were no good too and can be used as tools for curses.

H: At any rate, after being given whatever information was available, as a result, when a curse is being rebounded—ah, actually it’s wrong to say rebounding a curse—um, when someone is placing a curse on you and you know what they’re doing, being retaliated against is the scariest thing, apparently. That’s what the person said.

H: So, apparently, there really is a lot of different energies out there. Casually, I also got my fortune told and apparently there’s a lot of things out there. Astrology is based on divination and then there’s also palm reading, karma reading, and apparently places like priest temple quarters can look at that. I heard they can apparently also use spells to cast curses. But whether it’s the truth or a lie, I really don’t know.

[11:14]

H: So, as someone who has heard these stories, I got to do the role of an onmyouji this time and I’m really thankful. Thank you very much. I hope I don’t get cursed by all means.

H: Um, I think the onmyouji whose name and face I still don’t know exists, so if you’re listening to what I’m saying right here and now, I’m going to be silent now. I’ll be grateful if you continue protecting me, haha.

H: Whether you want to believe it or not is up to you. Now then, that being said, we’ve arrived at the live corner. I think it’s about time I start to close this, haha. Lastly, to the people who have listened up to here, you’re all saints.

H: Um, well, how do I say this, to the very end I still think, or rather believe, that essentially people like onmyouji and other things exist, and things like divination and spells. Also, um… curses and all sorts of things.

H: Mm, it’s often said that when you think about too many negative things then negative things will come back to you. Negative thoughts will steadily attract more and more negative things. That sort of karma, or retribution, is something I believe in.

H: So, you have to think about good and positive things. Even words like “I can’t do this anymore” should be “I’m sure this is a trial for me” or “I’m sure a new happy thing will happen again” sort of thoughts. If you interact with things like this, I’m sure it’s a good thing.

H: What the heck sort of seminar is this!? I’m a bit surprised at what I’m saying myself. But, seriously, I think that way of thinking is really important. Mhm, so, how do I say this, rather than contemplating the secrets of onmyouji, living every day with a smile is better. For that sake, I’ll continue to work hard every day.

[13:40]

H: I hope you can continue supporting me.

H: Haha, is this alright? Can we properly end things with this? Um… I spoke a little too much about my own things excessively like a maniac, so if there was something you wanted to say or if you wanted to say “Shimono-san there’s nothing otome about this” then please send a fan letter to the company, haha.

H: Um, really, while I spoke a lot just now, I feel a little bit regretful. I’m wondering if there was something more like the extra talks or the love story that I could have talked about. But, no, seriously, I really like these stories in and of itself… so, personally, I think it’d be nice if there was a continuation. Mhm.

H: I really think that, when I was chanting the spells, I was cool so that’s one reason. I think it’d be nice if I had more opportunities like that. First, thank you so much for your support. Anyway, it’s about time to end this. I hope there’s another chance for us to meet.

H: That’s all! This was Shimono Hiro, the actor for Shidzuki. Let’s meet again! Bye bye!


¹ Suzaku is the Japanese name for the Vermillion Bird of the South.

² I debated going straight to the translation, but the chant just sounds so much cooler. Anyway, the translation of the whole Mantra of Light goes: “Praise be to the flawless, all-pervasive illumination of the great mudra [or seal of the Buddha]. Turn over to me the jewel, lotus and radiant light.”

³ I’ve always loved the concept of kotodama and what’s what Shidzuki is using here.

⁴ He repeats “oṃ huru huru caṇḍāli mātaṅgi svāhā” twice and, on the Japanese wikipedia page, this is another short form mantra of the Medicine Buddha (the English one shows a different mantra). I can’t find an English translation for this one, but the Japanese one essentially translates to expelling evil.

⁵ He’s using the kuji-kiri here, and Wikipedia actually shows you the hand symbols for this mantra.

⁶ He’s talking about tsukimono-suji here. Tsukimonos are evil spirits that can possess things.

⁷ It’s an actual thing you can make LOL. Origami yakko-san.

2 thoughts on “Occultic Lovers ~ Shidzuki ~

    Lux said:
    April 23, 2021 at 08:57

    Ahhhhhh! Thank you once again for this. I was pleasantly surprised by how dense the story was for this series. I have to say I agree with Shimono about how Shidzuki seemed kind of cold to the souls he banished instead of trying to understand them, but maybe that was the point of his character? I assume the other guys in the series approach the job of onmyouji differently because of how they got recruited into it. I still love him for eventually realizing the importance of empathy and caring for others.

      Ilinox responded:
      April 23, 2021 at 18:11

      Haha, no thank you! I was also taken aback by the weight of the story here and how serious it became. Seconding Shimono here about how there was so little romance and, at times, it didn’t feel appropriate because of everything that was going on LOL although I did think the confession scene and when he undid the kotodoma to kiss her was super romantic.

      I’m going to guess that all the other guys deal with different themes regarding life and death too. But YES I love Shiduzki’s journey and that, even though he had such a terrible past, he never lashed out at the heroine about it? When they debated their life philosophy, mm, I love that kind of stuff.

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